What Is it that makes Armstrongism SO appealing to those who support it?

It's a valid question.

What is it exactly, that makes Armstrongism SO appealing to those who fully embrace it's completely flawed ideologies? What is it about Armstrongism that has caused people to completely deny reality in their quest for truth and understanding?

Despite the full brunt of historical evidence which is a free and open library for the browsing, Armstrongist supporters wear blindfolds and earplugs in the face of such dramatic affronts to their concepts and mindless imaginations. Despite the full brunt of hardships and assaults on rightful living, and despite the full brunt of even half-ways intelligent rebuttals to some of their most easily dis-proven theological embarrassments, they continue to relish in the madness of constant deceptions and continual delusion. They do not believe it is deception, nor do they believe it is delusion. To them, it's reality - even though clearly, and without any legitimate dispute, it is anything but reality. It is clearly, and unarguably, complete non-sense - made up by one man, with one vision, and one dream, fueled by vanity, ego, conceit, and power.

With that framework clear - what is it, then, that makes Armstrongism SO appealing to those who support it? It is the clear embracing of the concepts and imaginative dreaming of exactly the mindsets of the one who started it all. Namely, vanity, ego, conceit, and power.

Armstrongism is a fairy tale land of make-believe for many who did not, in real life, achieve, attain, or grasp the lifelong dreams of authority they may have wanted in their human lives to that point. For others, it was an avenue to create within that very structure the very embodiment of real power, using ego, and vanity, and conceit to achieve just such.

For others, traditional religion had, for one reason, or another, burnt them severely - whether it was Catholicism, or Protestantism, or any other form of organized religion which had shown itself, to them, as a fully evident fraudulent system - Armstrongism provided bucketfuls of theories as to why Corporate Christianity was as untruthful as they had observed it to be. With stories of abuse and freshly laid paths that all led to evil and paganism from within their horror stories of Corporate Christianity past, they were more than eager to embrace a different, seemingly refreshing concept of what they took to be a new light of truth.

This new light of truth, in fact - was the spark that all of these people began to fully indoctrinate within themselves, regardless of what exactly their specific reason was. Their leader, Herbert Armstrong, or whichever splinter leader they bought into later on down the road - spoke with enough convincing argument and authority that - when juxtaposed against the lies they had bought in the past, simply seemed to make sense and were appealing to minds that rejected what they thought was correct in the first place. Perhaps, in previous experiences, they experienced the abusive Southern Baptist Pastor, or the deviant Catholic Priest. Perhaps, in previous experiences, they remember the commercialism of secular Christmases, or the perceived emptiness they may have felt chasing Easter eggs on Easter morning. Or, perhaps, they simply were not taught the tenets of actual, authentic, Christianity - instead trapped in a televangelist-oriented, money-abusing system bent on money, authority, and power - and fled it, only to be attracted to the exact same system by someone else who told them they, well, were not after their money, and were not, initially, believing the system was about money, authority, and power. In short - they were duped once, then were duped again.

In a majority of so many of these cases was one common characteristic that was embraced. The idea that what was before was wrong - so what is now must be right.

And you have to admit, from the surface - in the worldview that it was in the 20th Century - it seemed right. It certainly did seem right! Technology - the space age - in fact, the nuclear age - made a convincing argument to Herbert's theories. The rapid rise of Armstrongism and growth led a sense of credibility to the argument. It's hard to argue when your emotions are completely overtaxed with 14,000 other people who are believing what you believe, and are of the same mindset! If they are right, and you are right - well then, it must be right, and that's that, right?

And that - right there - was the seed and the trap that made it all appealing. Here's a new and different way of living and thinking that opened up new doors to a whole new world of opportunity. But with all of the available opportunities and traditions were the acceptance of unquestioned and unchecked power from those in charge of the system they were embracing. The kicker that said "I'm in" The belief that down the road, in just a few years - is the absolute assurance that Herbert's ideas were true - including you being a part of a World Rulership where you, yourself, would be one of those in the King's Inner Circle, ruling and governing in - you guessed it - authority, luxury - and power - right back to square one.

The only thing is?

Herbert's ideas were not true. They were lies. They were built on financial greed and empirical lust. They were built on irrational concepts of racism and superiority. They were built on worldly business models, with the capstone worldly treasures that would make the top rich and powerful in their world, and the poor impoverished and shackled. The promises of a Utopian government in 3 to 5 years were false. The promises of interpretations of prophecies were also just as false. The ideas of the majority of the ministers were - you guessed it - false. In fact, Herbert's empire was just as scandalous, just as abusive, just as divisive, and just as greedy as anything you'd find in what they came from in the first place. The end result was disappointment, disillusionment, and a deep hunger for facts without the emotional and/or spiritual concepts that hurt them so much in the first place. And what was created? Dysfunction, Distrust - and in many cases, agnosticism and atheism. And in most cases? Anxiety, depression, trauma - to name just a few behavioral issues that were born from the cesspool of Armstrong's Atrocities.

Bringing it back around to the original question. What is it then, NOW, that makes Armstrongism SO appealing to those who support it - despite all of the above, or the reasons, and what not?

It can only be one thing. And it's best described summarily in just five words.

It is, what it is.

Their entire lives, full extended families, decades of memories, and a host of other entrenched webs are simply worth more than what it would be to start new. So, even though there are other more appealing options that look available despite the disgust of the deceit they plainly see, not changing anything would be, to them - a greater risk of collapsing their entire life's structure than it would be to leave the structure and build new. In other words - they fear it would all collapse on them before they get out to start new.

Thus, the appeal the remains, honestly - in totality -  is for many - rooted in just ONE word.

Survival.

Ramblings

Today, I just thought I'd ramble a little bit. It's been a little bit of a difficult day, in some respects, as certain things shift and move in the waves of life. But it all is a matter of perspective in the way one deals with the way the winds change, isn't it.

I've been watching with interest a few things in the Church of God Universe i wish to talk about. Again, it's more of a rambling sequence of thoughts in the form of print. I have not taken the effort to outline this particular thread in any consistent dialogue. Keep that in mind as I write this posting.

On Depression

At the Banned Site, there has been some reporting on PCG's stance, according to an article published by their group, on depression. Apparently, the PCG seems to think they have the scholastic and psychiatric training and ability to interpret and diagnose clinical causes of depression and mental health issues. Anyone mind if I take a moment to step out, laugh my head off, and run back in? You don't mind? Fine then!

HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA.

Now I'm not an expert on the issue in it's clinical study, but I know enough about it - both from those who do know a little bit about it, and from personal experience - to talk about what depression is, and isn't.

Depression IS, in many cases, a bio-chemical imbalance in the brain, and may or may not be rooted in actual issues of life. Depression CAN be "enhanced", or even develop, or become chronic due to life's stresses and issues. And I can tell you, based on much evidence I have read over the years of PCG's Direct Influence on Life, that their doctrines and policies can be a direct initiator or enhancer of MAJOR depressive disorders.

For them to get on there, and act like they are the ones who can cure depression when they have directly caused so much for so many people is one of the most laughable and nearly ironic things that could be written in print.

Regardless of what they say the causes are, depression is extremely serious, and it is critical that those who suffer from depressive disorder get help to know what steps to take to isolate and proactively resolve any issues that are severely impacting and destroying their well-being.

On Certain "Ministers" 

It is irking to watch certain self-appointed "ministers" attempt to assert themselves as some sort of "authority" to those who subscribe to their splinter or "church" body. One of the most irking - yet, strangely - amusing - ones that is setting themselves up as such an authority is the leader of the Continuing Church of God, Bob Thiel, who has to call himself an "overseer".

I have consistently said that many of those COG-types who attempt to present themselves as authorities set themselves up as some sort of spiritual "parents" who rob and steal the intellectual and adult abilities of those who "submit" to their ideas and claims. Calling ones self an "overseer" is certainly not subtle about it.

Then, there's the time-old lies that leaving their church body corporate is a spiritual death sentence. That is absolute rubbish and a lie from the pits of darkness. The CCOG is, in no way, shape, or form, any kind of "One True Church", and it's leader is not even - despite their claims to the contrary - ordained or appointed to any ministry. The arrogance and hubris is appalling. As in every movement no matter how insignificant, there are always a few who get sucked into the thinking of the leader of the subgroup. And let there be no doubt about this: The only "overseeing" power that Bob has is only the power that any individual person gives him. The only power any COG minister has over anyone is the power to deceive and make people believe their claims. When those claims do not pan out, then the evidence is clear they are not who they say they are. Sadly, many decide to stay with the lies then to pull themselves out into the light of truth.

On LCG

It appears, according to some LCG insiders, that a certain LCG minister is "recycling" "inspirational" messages each Saturday to their congregants, using the same material on repeated cycles.

Look, I don't see how this is any different, if true, then the same sermons being recycled over and over again! We all know this goes on in COG services. The same subjects, the same sermons, the same messages, the same material recycled over, and over, and over again. I don't honestly know how people - no matter what COG they go to - can sit there, and take the same dull and repeated and boring, lifeless messages time and time again - especially when given by ministers who have no clue how to give a sermon if their life depended on it!

I remember very well with my time in the COG's how I would have to endure a hopelessly borin speaker. It was much like listening to National Public Radio (No offense to NPR) when they introduce classical music. Anyone who has listened to NPR knows exactly what I am talking about! How is it that people put up with it?

Because they feel they HAVE to.

For the same reasons they feel they HAVE to keep the Sabbath, and they HAVE to keep the Holy Days, and they HAVE to do this, and HAVE to do this, "Or else". In the COG life, it's all about obeying commands militarily, instead of wanting to do things because they have the freedom and the ability to do so from the heart.

The Church was never supposed to be a military camp. But with the COG's, that's what people have voluntarily surrendered themselves to be - financial and spiritual slaves to their "masters".

And again - it's ALL about the money!

More interesting tidbits I'm not really commenting on at Banned about the big fiasco going on with CEM and the RLDEA people. I'm just going to say this:

How much evidence does one possibly need to conclude to the obvious answer as to what's in the heart and the minds of certain COG people? What in the world is it going to take?

A lavish expensive auditorium didn't do it.
The juxtaposition of the End of the World with the building of the auditorium didn't do it.
The threats of loss of eternal salvation because of lack of tithing didn't do it.
RCG's compound didn't do it.
Weinland's conviction didn't do it.
PCG's extravagance and jet airplane didn't do it.
The poverty lives of some COG members for the cause that turned out empty didn't do it.
The good life of pastors while the poor suffer didn't do it.
The evidence in co-worker letters 50 years back didn't do it.

What in the world will do it?

I say nothing is going to do it. They are willing to give up everything for the contemptuous sordid gain of a few bullies who capitalize on whoever they can devour. They attach like a leach and through lies and threats and shackles and chains pull the life out of whoever they can. And it's all deception. It's all lies.

It's a financial SCAM.

It's not like the evidence isn't there. It's literally everywhere. It's getting to the point where they just don't seem to care anymore. How is accepting lies in the face of truth any different than what they've been railing against in their own minds for generations???

That's it for now.

Division, or Truth?

Herbert Armstrong, in the Church Purple Hymnal, in "How This Hymnal Came To Be" - the introduction of the many familiar Dwight Armstrong four part harmony songs - said the words in the title above, pertaining to why he would not allow "Christian" songs to be included in his collection of hymns for the Church. For this reason, based on his extreme prejudice and contempt for all things mainstream Christianity, he said that it is as sinful to sing a lie as it is to tell one.

Pretty potent words of blatant hypocrisy, if you ask me. How many times did we sing something about us moaning bitterly, when we weren't? Or with shame and confusion covering our faces - everyone smile!? Or "For God's Day is Now at Hand" - when it wasn't. But we sing something about "What a Friend we Have in Jesus" - apparently, that was a lie to the Church. Or, "and he walks with me, and He talks with me" - well, maybe that wasn't a lie. In our church, He was outside knocking at the door trying to get in.

How about now?

What about when the Splinters sing "Onward Christian soldiers?" How is we are not divided not a lie within the Churches of God? You bet they're divided. All of them. They can't even get together for a feast service. Not even once a year.

Or how about "How Good and How Pleasant" - for those who have those in their hymnals? Together in Unity? Really? What COG is completely united together in unity? Name one? Anyone? I'm not counting those who "play church". You know who you are.

If it REALLY is just as much of a sin to sing a lie, as it is to say a lie, as Herbert constantly proclaimed as the core of his reasoning to get his brother Dwight to write the Purple Hymnal and forever put his tunes in our heads, then you know what my opinion is? It's probably an unpopular opinion. One that might get one in hot water with a minister. Want to know what it is? It's really easy.

Don't sing the lies! Am I agreeing with HWA on this? No - I'm agreeing with the word of God on this, in my honest opinion. But I know that such a statement could never happen within a Church of God. Obedience to "the Government of God" is far more valuable then truth. The fear of the minister - that conditioning - is strong. One of the strongest forces in the mind of a Church of God member.

I might add, that if you decide to sing or not sing in a mainstream Church - in many of the mainstream churches - it's encouraged for you to worship your own way. Many times they will start the service by saying:

"Many of you today may feel like standing up, that's fine. Some of you may want to stay seated, that's fine, too. Some can come up to the altar, others can stay in their seats. Some may sing loudly, others may sit quiet and prayerfully. However you worship is between you and God as we come into his presence."

Such an attitude of personal worship between God and Man would be a rarity in the Churches of God.

So if you aren't comfortable with not singing because you'll get a target on your head from a Minister - and you don't want to SING A LIE - better yet, change the words. How about, as loudly as you can, "We are ALL divided, NOT one body, we, Not in hope in doctrine, NOT in charity". I wonder how that would go over! Oh wait! Am I causing division? Or promoting truth? What is better? Division... or truth? Read Luke 12:51 and tell me what you think about Jesus' response to such a question.

Or - there's the ol' Silent Sing Trick! Keep mouthing the words "We are not divided" but sing "We are .... divided". :P The only person who could tell? Your family next to you. But I guess this would become quite the problem if the whole church did it! Can you imagine? Everyone singing WE ARE .... DIVIDED, ...... BODY WE...... IN FAITH AND DOCTRINE.... IN CHARITY... Can you just see the Pastor's face now? Usher meeting! To the back! Pronto!


And then 45 minutes over service for a sermon on respect of authority in the Church - which trumps truth.

I'm being totally facetious here. No one's going to do any of the above. I know anyone reading this will certainly just sing the falsehoods, "We are not divided, all one body we", all while their internal thoughts are yelling "HA! HA! RIGHT! WHATEVER! ISNT THAT A LOAD OF HOOEY!"

The point of all this is simple. In the Churches of God, authority trumps truth. Lies trump truth. Appearance trumps truth. Law trumps truth. So if truth is Jesus, and Jesus is truth...

Where's Jesus? 

God Had Something To Say About the Worldwide Church of God.

This is as close to I could come for a description of the "suggested" model of Tithing in the Worldwide Church of God under Herbert Armstrong - and even some of the splinters of that church that continue to exist today. If someone was to have followed the letter of the law precisely - and avoid being labeled a "slacker" or an "unenthusiastic, unconverted" do-nothing of a member - this is what likely faced you each and every day and week and month and year.

The method was nothing short of extortion, in my opinion. You were constantly, weekly, bi-weekly - monthly - and at every sermon - harangued, badgered, bugged, pleaded - and threatened of your very eternal life - to give wholeheartedly and enthusiastically to every demand of the church. But it never started that way.

When most came into "The Work", the most they felt they had to give was one tithe. But it wasn't long that they learned there was much more to the story than what they were initially told. The free magazine was too good to be true.

Soon, you learned that there was a second tithe to attend a convention you had to go to. Yes, you had to foot the bill for a mandatory conference that pictured something that was promised that never came when they said it would. Then, once you were baptized, you had to give ANOTHER 10 percent of your income every three years for funds that supposedly (but did not always) went for a benevolence fund for widows and orphans and the poor.

But that wasn't even all. Every seven holy days every year, you had to give a substantial voluntary offering which also went to headquarters!

But wait! There's more!

You also had to pay for the events and the activities of your local church activity fund. The kids' YOU outfits, meets, balls, square dances - all were on the local church's dime you were expected to help out with. You would spend your time in fundraisers, garage sales, baskets - whatever it took to raise the additional money so you and your church could try to have some kind of a life, since birthdays and festive times were already out of the picture.

But wait! There's more!

When the church was having their huge building fund, you were ALSO threatened with the loss of eternal life if you did not contribute to the building fund for the expansion of their college and to help pay for the loans that would eventually solidify their crown gem, Ambassador College.

And, where did your funds go. What did they accomplish.

The Lord has words for these kind of acts. And they're all in the Old Covenant that Armstrongism claims is in force. 

*****

and do not oppress the widow or the orphan, the stranger or the poor; and do not devise evil in your hearts against one another. Zech 7:10

Do not rob the poor because he is poor, Or crush the afflicted at the gate; For the LORD will plead their case. Proverbs 22:22-23

"For if you truly amend your ways and your deeds, if you truly practice justice between a man and his neighbor, if you do not oppress the alien, the orphan, or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place, nor walk after other gods to your own ruin, then I will let you dwell in this place, in the land that I gave to your fathers forever and ever. Jer 7:5-7

"Who among us can live with the consuming fire? Who among us can live with continual burning?" He who walks righteously and speaks with sincerity, He who rejects unjust gain Isaiah 33:14

May he vindicate the afflicted of the people, Save the children of the needy And crush the oppressor.  Psalm 72:4

Woe to those who enact evil statutes And to those who constantly record unjust decisions, So as to deprive the needy of justice And rob the poor of My people of their rights, So that widows may be their spoil And that they may plunder the orphans. Now what will you do in the day of punishment, And in the devastation which will come from afar? To whom will you flee for help? And where will you leave your wealth?Isaiah 10: 1-3

Therefore because you impose heavy rent on the poor And exact a tribute of grain from them, Though you have built houses of well-hewn stone, Yet you will not live in them; You have planted pleasant vineyards, yet you will not drink their wine. Amos 5:11

Woe to those who scheme iniquity, Who work out evil on their beds! When morning comes, they do it, For it is in the power of their hands. They covet fields and then seize them, And houses, and take them away They rob a man and his house, A man and his inheritance. Therefore thus says the LORD, "Behold, I am planning against this family a calamity From which you cannot remove your necks; And you will not walk haughtily, For it will be an evil time. Micah 2: 1-3

Yes, this is exactly what happened with the Worldwide Church of God. 

Every detail. Every scripture. 

Every word. 

Did not they exact heavy rent on the poor? 

Did not they covet fields and seize them? 

And houses? And take them away? 

Did they not purchase poor people's houses for their own gain? 

Diod they not rob the poor of the people their rights? 

Did they not constantly record unjust decisions?

Did they not walk after other Gods to their own ruin? 

Were not the widows their spoil? 

And did not God bring against the Church a calamity from which they could not remove their necks, and in which they could not walk haughtily any longer? 

All they built was taken away, sold, distributed, and collapsed. 

It all happened exactly as God's Word said it would. 

After all, those who live by the Law are judged by the Law. 

Treasure photos courtesy Banned by HWA.

 

 

Mental Illness and Armstrongism: Five-Alarm Crisis

The Exit and Support Network and Banned by HWA have again, sadly, reported on yet another tragic suicide in the Philadelphia Church of God cult. I would say I'm shocked. But I'm not. This is not the first time this has happened with this particular end-times cult. This is not the first time this has happened within Armstrongism itself. 

My condolences are with the family that has been shattered by this latest crisis. Exit and Support and Banned By HWA - Linked above - posted the following from the husband of the victim: 

After being kicked out of her congregation when she needed them, the most was too much for her to bare. This most precious of women left a husband, 3 kids, and 3 grandchildren, in tears and disbelief. Flurry's dictatorship style teaching falsehoods of God’s word pushed this beautiful wife and mother to her grave.

 There is absolutely no excuse. There is absolutely nothing that can be said in the defense of PCG for this. It is a shameful and horrifying example of the effects of Armstrongism that has permanently altered the course of one family. They cannot bring the victim back. 

The policies, the cold, harsh treatment - the loveless attitudes and the chilling, destructive, cultish love of authority that dictate the behaviors of Armstrongism in so many ways produce the exact conditions that fuel the explosive growth of mental illness of all forms within Armstrongism. From severe depression, to anxiety, to debilitating stress - to fostering the stunting of the normal growth and development of emotional maturity - to teaching and promoting the ignorance of basic medical care in some groups - all in the name of God in the promotion of their sick, twisted and distorted philosophies that have caused so much harm - the full spectrum of emotional and spiritual abuse has affected thousands within the 60-plus years of the cult of Armstrongism, based on the repugnant and destructive false interpretation of the Gospel. This is a five-alarm crisis that should sound every siren and ring every bell among those who have experienced and are experiencing, or have family and relatives who are involved within the confines of the prison of Armstrongism. 

The spiritual and the mental abuse to the victims must be exposed. The victims must be treated. The truth will set them free. 

No one is immune. From the smallest symptoms to the greatest manifestations - the harm of Armstrongism has affected, in some way,everyone who has been impacted with Armstrongism. From the financially crippling policies that induce stress. From the separating of friends and families by the emphasis on exclusivity - to the destructive diatribes and falsely corrective, spiritually reprobate messages - all the way to the cover-ups and support of crime and abuse - the impact reverberates with wave after wave of emotional damage. 

Mental illness has been amplified, magnified, and intensified exponentially inside Armstrongism by the corrupt and satanic policies within the cults. If ever there was a need for the victims inside who are shackled and chained inside their prison of false belief and condemnation by illegitimate "ministers" - who are actually wolves in the clothing of sheep - it is now. 

I am a strong advocate of behavioral health. I know where I am speaking from. Due to being raised in an extreme fundamentalist family deeply entrenched in Armstrongism, I have received and am receiving extensive de-programming treatment in the recovery of the effects of Armstrongism in my life. Stop the Stigma! It is OK to say you need help! It is OK to get help! There is no need for any more victims. There is no need or people to go through the spiritual abuse and the pain that is happening within the families who are needlessly being harmed mentally and spiritually by such wickedness. These people need to know they have a voice. That they have a reason for being, and for living. That they do have certain rights - the biggest one being support, friends, and the basic rights of humanity. They need to know they can overcome their depression and anxiety. And that they can overcome the harmful influence of those who oppose the love of God and the peace of God in their lives - that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. They need more than anything to know four simple words. 

They are NOT alone. 

If you are reading this right now, and you are in Armstrongism, and you feel absolutely defeated, depressed, discouraged, sad and hopeless - that you don't know where to go or what to do - I strongly plead and urge you to contact a behavioral health expert from your city or your state - and someone you fully trust or had trusted before you entered Armstrongism - and GET HELP NOW. There are people who will help you. There are people who will support you. And above all - do not go it alone. You and your life are precious to God. And it is time to break free and set your life on the right track again. 

You DO have a voice. You DO have a right. Don't let these cults chain you with their deception. The truth will set you free! 

The Exit and Support Network has extensive links to help you out of your Armstrongism experience. Go there today. 

For God so loved the world that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8)

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. (2 Cor 3:17)

Did Herbert Armstrong really believe that he was who he said he was?

What can we deduce through the decades of History about HWA?

When reading through the co-worker letters, I try to see things (hard as this is, to do, believe me), from Herbert's (what he's letting us know) point of view. I try very hard to look at these letters without bias - to try to see where he's coming from.

Yes, this is hard to do as I have already looked through these letters. I've come to many conclusions. But I am left with a very perplexing, very confusing question that I have yet to resolve in my head. This is going to be an article about my thoughts about all of that - and it may end up to be more rambling than anything else.

When I read through the process that Herbert Armstrong claims led him to become what he became - he makes it seem - and very convincingly, if you allow it to be - that what happened that led him from what he was to what he became - that he had nothing to do with.

He claims a lot of coincidences, situations that he claims were out of his control. He cites what he says are many examples of miraculous interventions to prove his divine purpose and calling. A dime here, seventy-five dollars there. People coming from nowhere to fill a need. Miraculous events he claims he has no control over. One reading this might get the impression he is certainly, and absolutely, being led by a power greater than himself that he claims to be God.

Of course, during this process, he claims surrender and conversion to God, and that through that conversion and surrender to God, Herbert was able to be used for his purpose to develop this "great work" that only he was specially prepared to do through past business experience. Was this the case?

Those of us who have intensely studied his life, in an attempt to figure out the details of why we got ensnared into the hell that we got ensnared in - know and understand details of his life that emphatically proves that he had not surrendered his entire life to God. Herbert himself has admitted that a "powerful evil", nearly impossible to overcome, had been with him through his entire life as he built up the Worldwide Church of God. Herbert himself was prone to intense outbursts of carnal rage and anger over material shortcomings. Herbert used every carnal and worldly tactic in the book to extort financial gain out of the most oppressed and burdened people for his own building project - making the deal and giving the green light, and then putting the burden on the poor with an "It's your fault if it fails and you're going to the lake of fire" mantra, over and over and over again. And those of us who have studied are painfully aware of the allegations of abuse against his daughter - which members of his own family have not come to his defense against. And yet, he claims it was God who was working everything "in his favor".

So the one question is: Did he really believe he was who he said he was? Or was he inwardly laughing at all of us "dumb sheep" for falling for the con-man bait and switch of the century?

I have wondered if he had simply just rationalized everything and convinced himself that he is who he said that he was. After all, everyone seemed to agree with him. People began calling him an apostle. People were saying his message was of God all over the place. He had many supporters. Was he using the people to rationalize that he was who he said he was - and then playing the David Card when his true nature surfaced time and time again?

He often says everything "just seemed to work out" for him at the last minute, proving God was always behind it. Yet, we all know he neglects to say the forceful sales methods of abuse against his congregation he knew would always work every time he pulled out the big guns - the threats of eternal damnation for those who never came through for him.

When he found a method of financial gain that worked, he would double down on it, and employ it harder, and harder, and harder each and every time. First, he'd say there was an emergency. And then, he never stopped saying it. Then, crisis. Then, a double crisis. Then, a SUPREME crisis. Then, the worst crisis that ever has been faced by the Work. And finally, in the early 1960s all the way up to the mid 1970s, he would pull out the big guns of the threat of eternal damnation for slackers, for lukewarm givers - for those who were not 100 percent behind Herbert's desire for the completion of his headquarters. He admitted he would beg, plead - ask people to give until it hurts without any shame to those in his church so he wouldn't have to do it to his co-workers. And even then, he found very underhanded ways around even that.

He had full knowledge of what he was doing. He knew full well the psychological impacts of Petra, the Place of Safety, and 1975 - and what it would do to increase the needed funds to meet the goals that were required to get the loans for the completion of the Master Plan. In fact, all while that was going on, buildings were going up like crazy. The Natatorium, the Dining Hall, Dorms - this building, that building - all while articles were going out over and over again about preparing for the end of the world.

Articles by Dale Schurter about preparing for famine. Articles telling teenagers to get ready to be changed in just a matter of years. Sermons prepping people for the Place of Safety. Whole articles about Petra - that GTA and a few others went to as a psychological tool to evoke deep feelings. All of this was a coordinated and deliberate effort to increase funds. And evidence through writings by GTA himself says that they themselves knew nothing was ever going to happen. When 1972 came and went, it was time to enact damage control, with half-hearted we didn't mean it and maybe overdid it recalls of everything the members had gone through - instead of a full walk-back, blaming the members that they were not ready.

And instead of walking it all back - they went to say that something momentous DID happen that day on January 7, 1972 - they got Readers Digest Ads. That's the definition of Damage Control. At the same time, the scandals of GTA and debauchery were coming out full throttle - and the wickedness that was reigning inside the Church through the entirety of The Big Push during the 1960s was being revealed to all.

Everything about that time frame was absolutely and certainly shrouded in a well-coordinated deception. Yet, we still wonder - did it turn this way over time, or did it start like this in the beginning, and were we all had from the start?

Looking at who Herbert Armstrong got on his team is pretty telling. Herman Hoeh had already been convinced of British Israelism - and was a very powerful thinker and organizer about such a movement before he even came on board. In fact, the only thing he wasn't really convinced of was the festivals. Then came the McNair clan from Arkansas. And then, Rod Meredith and Bob Seelig came on board. It was quite a team. And all of them were fully aware of the "Ambassador Extravagance", especially  when Armstrong's De Soto and his son's other expensive car were seen and called no lack of drama among the first students. Rod Meredith himself admitted to this in no uncertain terms in an early GN article.

It is also worth noting that there never really was any sort of emergency. These "emergency claims" were spoken without cessation for over 40 years. In these emergencies the cash built up to such amazing results that not only were the radio stations easily purchased - but soon, every sort of fine treasure to a Gulfstream Jet to dinnerware in the tens of thousands were purchased. And the ministers became the highest paid in the world, according to the Business Manager, as he said it to Herbert Armstrong.

The Loans for the Auditorium were long term, and ended somewhere around the middle 1990s. Astoundingly - well, not really, this was the exact coincidental time that the Big Changes, with the force and fury of a cannon, and the empathy of a rabid porcupine, took place - after denials and denials from the Headquarters that it was ever going to happen. I can recall back in 1991 and 1992 reading magazines that were hinting towards big changes in the Church that the Church was constantly denying would ever happen - only to see it happen in four years with a "If you don't like it, go to Global" message from Tkach. I saw the deception first hand - that same deception that went on during times past. The deception through the 40s to the 70s to get as much money as possible, while proclaiming it was actually the mission of the members to give and back them up - without grumbling, or complaining, conditioned entirely and effectively to completely being finger-whipped into absolute obedience.

So the question remains. Did Herbert Armstrong really believe that he was who he said he was?

I believe he deluded himself, using rationalization, to believe that he was an apostle. I believe he deluded himself, by listening to the words of others, that he was the most important man in the world. After all, he was funding hundreds of people who were relying on his paycheck for their living. If Herbert fell, they all fell. Am I suggesting that the top ministers may have actually enabled and enhanced the delusion on Herbert for their own selfish benefit? You be the judge. No one was going to possibly let, in my opinion, Herbert believe for a second he wasn't what he thought he was - because then all the top evangelists and hundreds of the best paid ministers would be out of a job. Perhaps the key to their jobs was enhancing Herbert's delusion of himself so they all could be guaranteed a posh and luxury life - all at the expense of the little people.

Herbert Armstrong started a work based on personal ambition, success, importance, and prosperity. Once he got a team on board, and this work took off - no one was going to let it collapse. Regardless of the cost. You can easily see this spirit of competition and assurance to Herbert that he was who he says he was all through the 50s and 60s. He had a financial formula that worked. And everyone knew it. And everyone kept it going.

Even making the poor people believe they were about to go to Petra, or lose their salvation for letting up the income.

Yes, I do believe that Herbert Armstrong, later in life, really believed that he was who he said he was. But I believe this was a powerful delusion, only accepted after being convinced and enabled to believe such by selfish ministers who wanted their own stake of the fortune, who would reinforce the delusion to pad their own pockets in luxury as long as they could, until they could not anymore - when there was no way to carry the load of debt and burden.

And that's when we turn the corner to 1995, and begin to see all the roaches come out of the woodwork once the empire fell.

When a Church Violates Your Sacred Trust

I was born into a cult. Born in it.

This is important to understand in the context of this post.

Being born into a way of thinking - a mind-frame - is a way more potent form of indoctrination then making the choice to enter a cult after first being established in a former way of thinking. Of course, this is not the only factor into how intense the indoctrination is.

Other factors include the level of fear that the family shows on violating the doctrines of the cult, the level of adherence to all of the doctrines and expectations of the cult, and how receptive the person born into the cult actually is (the level of rebellion set pretty low.) In my case - the level of fear was at the top of the chain (out of my control, there were issues), the adherence level was borderline neurotic, and I was born with a trusting personality. All of this combined to create the perfect atmosphere for what I call Cultic Brainwashing Syndrome.

The trust factor was exponentially high for me.

The full and trusted, never-questioned authority in my mind, due to this high dose of toxic indoctrination, meant one thing in my mind: The word of the Minister WAS the word. In fact, I can remember staunchly defending the doctrines of the Church as far and as young as I can remember to anyone who would hear me, making me automatically the weirdo and the reject. (I'd even so far as VOLUNTEER the information to an unsuspecting Normal Person.) I fully expected the trumpet to sound, Christ to return, and eventually, we'd be sitting pretty ruling, and I'd finally get my own planet. MY very own planet to dictate to. I never took the time to imagine I could possibly be given a useless, impossible-to-develop, solid-less GAS planet, with the fiercest storms and most toxic atmosphere ever thought of - just full of hot air a place you'd never want to be. (Isn't this an apt description!)

When I grew older, and fully accepted the Armstrong dogmas, and was baptized, living my life in full assurance of Armstrongism (cognitive dissonance and all), my trust in the Church was violated in the space of two hours. The two hours when Joseph W. Tkach, The Head Honcho of the Church, blew apart everything that I ever believed and accepted in the Church. And I do mean, everything.

Herbert Armstrong (LEFT) and Joseph Tkach (RIGHT)

It helps if you look at this in terms of a relationship. It was as if your spouse, who spent 20 years of your marriage presenting exactly the way she was, in full belief of you, took you aside, and in ten minutes told you she was living a double life, was getting a sex change, had a girlfriend for all of those 20 years, had three children you did not know, and oh, by the way - went and did things all the time she told you she hated. It was a shell-shocking blast worthy of Krakatoa.

Now, imagine if this person did this in a cold, calloused, unfeeling, like it or leave it matter, suddenly, without preparation - and told you this is how it was, without even a real, heartfelt, believable apology.

This is the impact. It was like your pastor, your minister, your link to salvation, walked up to you, pulled out a pair of pliers, and yanked out your teeth. No sedation, no drug, no warning. And then said, now you need to learn to eat properly. Have fun with it.

This church violated my sacred trust. It was a relationship. Abusive as it was, it was still a relationship. The extent of the damage of that day could not be measured until many, many years later, undergoing intensive and extensive de-programming therapy.

What do you do when a church violates your sacred trust then? Denominationally, or individually - what can you do? Is there even a way forward? How does one even know how to think? Or how to ever trust again?

I'm not a psychologist. I'm not an expert at how this all works. All I can do is tell you what I was.

I was angry. I was confused. I did not know what to think. And when I investigated further, I became more shocked to discover the truth about not only the church I trusted, but every other factual piece of truth that crumbled every conception I had about the organization that made my life what it was. I felt betrayed. Depression, sadness, and deeper shock set in with every piece of evidence that proved to me that things weren't what I thought they were.

This violation of trust opened my mind to discovering things I had never seen before. I had never noticed the extent of the carnal and horrid nature of Herbert Armstrong. I had never really known the extent of Garner Ted's double life of debauchery. I had never realized how the Co-Worker letters were nothing but fear-laden sales letters, or how hundreds on hundreds of prophecies failed, or how many lies were told to the children of the church by all levels of leadership. I never knew about the massive "ambassador extravagence", or the deceptions involved with financing the master plan of the College on one hand, and getting money by telling the church the world was going to end and give, give, give as a final push on the other hand. I never saw the "coincidences" that were not coincidences at all that fit every puzzle piece together. I never understood the incongruity of the entire farce, until it hit me as a slap in the face of what the church I was involved in actually was - a business, under the pretense of a church.

Not only was my trust violated - but my every perception of what I had lived in thrust me into having to rewire every conception of what I believed was truth. I had to literally rewire, and rethink every thing that I held dear, and try to make sense of the world around me with new eyes, and with new vision. I felt like an alien, stripped of all sense of knowing and reality. This, in conjunction with many other life-issues I will not go into here - was simply a hell hole from the ass of a dragon.

How is it that I was able to accept? To move on? To learn to live?

First - I had to understand that I did not order the circumstances that defined my life. I was not at fault for the things that made my life what it was. I was caught up in something that was completely beyond my control and my abilities. Blaming myself, or wallowing in a pity party for the cards I was dealt, was useless. What was, is what was, and it is, what it is. Period. This came very clear to me after I nearly lost my life due to my medical conditions.

The ability to learn to think logically was paramount. A peaceful scene helps. 

Second - I had to accept the things that I could not change. The serenity prayer is very, very useful and true. God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Third - I needed help. This was the hardest part. I could not do this on my own. This was beyond me and my faculties to handle. So I had to bite the bullet - and get the de-programming help that I needed. My life depended on it. I had to learn how to handle the anxiety and the stress that the environment fueled, so my heart would have a better chance of avoiding a fatal relapse.

Fourth - I had to realize that the church I grew up in was composed of imperfect people. I had to understand what I always sang... "Put your trust not in mortals, for in them is no help." I had personal, absolute, irrefutable evidence of the involvement of Jesus in my life. Without Him, and the way He managed the way things happened as only a Superior Intelligence could, I guarantee you I would be dead right now, at this minute.

Most importantly, and finally. I had to learn to forgive.

Forgiving Herbert Armstrong is important to do. It's a work in progress. (Envoy)

The Worldwide Church of God was a church that violated my trust. It took everything away from me. But the Worldwide Church of God was composed of imperfect people running a worldly organization in worldly ways. The true Church of God is spiritual - and is composed of people who are known by their fruits, not by physical signs - but by the spiritual recognition of love for one another. It was vital that I learned that to move forward, I had to forgive each and every one of them.

Let's be honest. Have I done so? Completely? Totally? Do you expect me to say yes? I can't. I'm still working on it. But that's the honest, truthful answer. I'm not angry anymore - I'm right now in a process of rehabilitation. But I am trying. And I'm not going to lie when my heart is telling me that absolute forgiveness hasn't happened yet - totally and completely. But I understand that it is something that I am striving for, and with the help of God, I will be able to, someday, and hopefully soon, be able to say to Herbert, and to Joe, and all the others in my mind, yes, I absolutely and wholeheartedly forgive you. Because until I can imagine looking at Herbert Armstrong in my minds' eye and embracing him with a forgiving hug, instead of blasting him with words and forcing him to hear my side until I'm done - I don't think I am there yet.

Dealing with when a Church violates your Sacred Trust takes time. And patience. And effort. But it is a process that cannot be ignored, or swept under the rug. It is a process you must take. And it is a process you must not take alone. In the multitude of council there is wisdom. Embrace it. Swallow your pride, and let others work with you to move forward.

It's definitely and absolutely worth the effort.

Emotional Mind, Logical Mind - and Armstrongism's Impact

One of the tools that has been very helpful to me with the detoxification and deprogramming of Armstrongism's influence in my life has been the discovery of the spectrum of thought that people have between the two extremes of mindfulness - the Emotional Mind, which is FAR on the left, and the Logical Mind, which is FAR on the right. And no, I am not speaking politically here.

The Emotional mind, as I have learned, is a mind whose decisions and whose actions are influenced by emotion. To the degree of which depends on where you fit on the scale.

The Logical mind is a mind whose decisions and actions are influenced by how the mind determines the logic or rationality of the situation. Also, to the degree if which depends on where you fit on that scale.

People fall all over on this spectrum - depending on their circumstances. Some have a full-left emotional mind, which causes them to behave based solely on emotion. This can be very detrimental to sound reasoning, tantrums, and a huge variety of different emotional characteristics. Some have a full-right logical mind, which causes them to tune out any form of emotion, and make decisions based solely on how logical or reasonable, or rational a solution may be, without consideration of the emotional part, which seems rather useless and "illogical" to them. The "ideal" between the two to reach some degree of balance is, of course, a balanced position in the middle - where emotion and logic intertwine and create a healthy way of thinking - in a perfect world, anyway.

And now, we enter in Armstrongism.

The entire premise of Armstrongism was rooted in emotion. This may seem contradictory at first glance. After all, Armstrongism seemed to denounce and squash any kind of emotion with the intensity of a steel crusher in many cases - such as, when you feel inspiring music, squelch it - hold the inappropriate applause. Yet the emotion that they used to bring in the converts to their way of thinking was a very profound emotion - fear. This swung people, and quickly, to the emotional mindset (even the logical minded people.)

The decisions made then, when entering, and in armstrongism had the element of emotionalism involved - even when it did not seem like it was emotionalism. There was always thoughts like:

• Am I going to qualify? (Fear you will not, and end up destroyed.)
• Am I trying hard enough? (Fear you are not, end up a slacker, and end up destroyed.)
• Should I do what I'm told, even though I don't think it's right? (For fear of disobedience, and end up put out of the church and destroyed.)
• Did I just break a commandment? (For fear you've angered God, and end up destroyed.)
• Am I really trying hard enough for grace to cover me for my law breaking? (same story.)

The emotion that tipped the scale of most people from the logical to the emotional side was the emotion of fear. This is what made the doctrines of Herbert Armstrong thrive. And when you are tipped on the scale from the logical side to the emotional side - then you begin to succomb to the demands of the one who is instilling the fear in you.

Fear is not always logical. Fear is enhanced by believing the person or the thing making you fearful. For instance, look at the claims that Herbert Armstrong always made.

• I speak for Christ. I am an Apostle. I have divine authority. What I say goes. 
• I have the power to loose and to bind. My power is from God. 
• I have the only true gospel that has ever been preached in 1900 years. I am God's chosen vessel.
• Disobeying me and the ministers is the same as disobeying Christ. 
• If you aren't obeying the Government of God (me), you aren't really in the Church.

 These of course, are just a few points that were designed to program you to believe in the claims of his interpretations of his doctrines. But that was just the start. Now let's look at what he would call those who did not measure up to him (once the fear element was believed.)

• Slacker, coward, lukewarm, unconverted, slothful, rebellious, lazy, selfish, deceived, covetous, idolatrous (and many, many more.)

All of this played to the emotional side (even for the logically minded people). Once you were trapped in the fear - and then believed the negative statements for not doing as much as you should be doing (whether spiritually, financially, or physically), then you have tripped completely to the emotion-based mind, and are trapped in the "spell" of Armstrongism - tithe, pray, and obey - for fear you will anger the minister, or that you will anger God - to the detriment of the well being of you, your family, your friends, and everyone else you have known.

One might think they're being logical because of Herbert's "evidence". But when looking at Herbert's way of reasoning in his booklets, papers, and writings - it is riddled FULL of emotionalism throughout. He had catchphrases that he always used with his logic to demean, and beat down, and insult the intelligence and logical reasoning of those who would read his material. It doesn't take but a few paragraphs into his writings to read them, and see how often he talked down to his readers.

• "You may be surprised to know".
• "Do you?"
• "Now listen to GOD'S teaching."
• "This is what you should have done."
•  "LISTEN! Understand this."
• "Read it ALL"
• "NOTICE it!"

These subtle wordings dispelled your logical mind to give more measure to your emotional mind. Call it "trickery" if you want to - but it causes you to place weight emotionally without truly considering it logically. It's also a technique used by salespeople to create emotion to make you buy a product. Who, by the way, also use fear to enhance urgency. "You've got to buy this today, we might not have any left, and then you're completely out of luck. We won't have another sale like this. Don't miss out, because there's none less after this!" - well, that is, until tomorrow. "Oh, we got an unexpected shipment. But THIS is truly the last time! Act TODAY!"

So when it comes to the emotional mind vs. the logical mind in Armstrongism - how do we possibly begin to reason in balance? If the goal truly is balance.

What I've done, and what works for me, is to:

• Breathe, relax, and break down what's being said - factually. 
• Rule out the "what if's". "What if's" rarely become the real story. 
• Find out what the real truth of the matter is - not what you have been told it is, or think it is. 

In the case of armstrongism, there are logical explanations to their claims that have to be looked at, if we are to think logically.

• Factually - there has not been one prophecy they have uttered that has come true. 
• Factually - their claims of the World Tomorrow have not happened. 
• Factually - there are many ministers who have been verified as having unchristian fruits.

It would be a good idea to make a list of the facts that you have experienced - without the emotion, without the "hype", without anything but the honest truth of what you are experiencing. Then, to write down the FACTS of what impacts that your experiences have caused or done. This is logic-minded - without the fear or the emotional baggage that has been cast onto you through the emotional mind.

This is what has worked for me. It may not work for you exactly, and nothing I say should be construed as advice you should necessarily do - I'm not a professional, and anything I recommend is only what I have done, and has helped me - and you do at your own risk (I'm saying, this may not do a darn thing for you.)

Learning the logical mind, the emotional mind, and ridding yourself of the influence of FEAR is, without any doubt, one of the most important things that I have learned since undergoing de-programming from the toxic cultish influences of Armstrongism in my life.

May God grant you the healing and the ability to grow onward in blessing in your life.