Did Herbert Armstrong really believe that he was who he said he was?

What can we deduce through the decades of History about HWA?

When reading through the co-worker letters, I try to see things (hard as this is, to do, believe me), from Herbert's (what he's letting us know) point of view. I try very hard to look at these letters without bias - to try to see where he's coming from.

Yes, this is hard to do as I have already looked through these letters. I've come to many conclusions. But I am left with a very perplexing, very confusing question that I have yet to resolve in my head. This is going to be an article about my thoughts about all of that - and it may end up to be more rambling than anything else.

When I read through the process that Herbert Armstrong claims led him to become what he became - he makes it seem - and very convincingly, if you allow it to be - that what happened that led him from what he was to what he became - that he had nothing to do with.

He claims a lot of coincidences, situations that he claims were out of his control. He cites what he says are many examples of miraculous interventions to prove his divine purpose and calling. A dime here, seventy-five dollars there. People coming from nowhere to fill a need. Miraculous events he claims he has no control over. One reading this might get the impression he is certainly, and absolutely, being led by a power greater than himself that he claims to be God.

Of course, during this process, he claims surrender and conversion to God, and that through that conversion and surrender to God, Herbert was able to be used for his purpose to develop this "great work" that only he was specially prepared to do through past business experience. Was this the case?

Those of us who have intensely studied his life, in an attempt to figure out the details of why we got ensnared into the hell that we got ensnared in - know and understand details of his life that emphatically proves that he had not surrendered his entire life to God. Herbert himself has admitted that a "powerful evil", nearly impossible to overcome, had been with him through his entire life as he built up the Worldwide Church of God. Herbert himself was prone to intense outbursts of carnal rage and anger over material shortcomings. Herbert used every carnal and worldly tactic in the book to extort financial gain out of the most oppressed and burdened people for his own building project - making the deal and giving the green light, and then putting the burden on the poor with an "It's your fault if it fails and you're going to the lake of fire" mantra, over and over and over again. And those of us who have studied are painfully aware of the allegations of abuse against his daughter - which members of his own family have not come to his defense against. And yet, he claims it was God who was working everything "in his favor".

So the one question is: Did he really believe he was who he said he was? Or was he inwardly laughing at all of us "dumb sheep" for falling for the con-man bait and switch of the century?

I have wondered if he had simply just rationalized everything and convinced himself that he is who he said that he was. After all, everyone seemed to agree with him. People began calling him an apostle. People were saying his message was of God all over the place. He had many supporters. Was he using the people to rationalize that he was who he said he was - and then playing the David Card when his true nature surfaced time and time again?

He often says everything "just seemed to work out" for him at the last minute, proving God was always behind it. Yet, we all know he neglects to say the forceful sales methods of abuse against his congregation he knew would always work every time he pulled out the big guns - the threats of eternal damnation for those who never came through for him.

When he found a method of financial gain that worked, he would double down on it, and employ it harder, and harder, and harder each and every time. First, he'd say there was an emergency. And then, he never stopped saying it. Then, crisis. Then, a double crisis. Then, a SUPREME crisis. Then, the worst crisis that ever has been faced by the Work. And finally, in the early 1960s all the way up to the mid 1970s, he would pull out the big guns of the threat of eternal damnation for slackers, for lukewarm givers - for those who were not 100 percent behind Herbert's desire for the completion of his headquarters. He admitted he would beg, plead - ask people to give until it hurts without any shame to those in his church so he wouldn't have to do it to his co-workers. And even then, he found very underhanded ways around even that.

He had full knowledge of what he was doing. He knew full well the psychological impacts of Petra, the Place of Safety, and 1975 - and what it would do to increase the needed funds to meet the goals that were required to get the loans for the completion of the Master Plan. In fact, all while that was going on, buildings were going up like crazy. The Natatorium, the Dining Hall, Dorms - this building, that building - all while articles were going out over and over again about preparing for the end of the world.

Articles by Dale Schurter about preparing for famine. Articles telling teenagers to get ready to be changed in just a matter of years. Sermons prepping people for the Place of Safety. Whole articles about Petra - that GTA and a few others went to as a psychological tool to evoke deep feelings. All of this was a coordinated and deliberate effort to increase funds. And evidence through writings by GTA himself says that they themselves knew nothing was ever going to happen. When 1972 came and went, it was time to enact damage control, with half-hearted we didn't mean it and maybe overdid it recalls of everything the members had gone through - instead of a full walk-back, blaming the members that they were not ready.

And instead of walking it all back - they went to say that something momentous DID happen that day on January 7, 1972 - they got Readers Digest Ads. That's the definition of Damage Control. At the same time, the scandals of GTA and debauchery were coming out full throttle - and the wickedness that was reigning inside the Church through the entirety of The Big Push during the 1960s was being revealed to all.

Everything about that time frame was absolutely and certainly shrouded in a well-coordinated deception. Yet, we still wonder - did it turn this way over time, or did it start like this in the beginning, and were we all had from the start?

Looking at who Herbert Armstrong got on his team is pretty telling. Herman Hoeh had already been convinced of British Israelism - and was a very powerful thinker and organizer about such a movement before he even came on board. In fact, the only thing he wasn't really convinced of was the festivals. Then came the McNair clan from Arkansas. And then, Rod Meredith and Bob Seelig came on board. It was quite a team. And all of them were fully aware of the "Ambassador Extravagance", especially  when Armstrong's De Soto and his son's other expensive car were seen and called no lack of drama among the first students. Rod Meredith himself admitted to this in no uncertain terms in an early GN article.

It is also worth noting that there never really was any sort of emergency. These "emergency claims" were spoken without cessation for over 40 years. In these emergencies the cash built up to such amazing results that not only were the radio stations easily purchased - but soon, every sort of fine treasure to a Gulfstream Jet to dinnerware in the tens of thousands were purchased. And the ministers became the highest paid in the world, according to the Business Manager, as he said it to Herbert Armstrong.

The Loans for the Auditorium were long term, and ended somewhere around the middle 1990s. Astoundingly - well, not really, this was the exact coincidental time that the Big Changes, with the force and fury of a cannon, and the empathy of a rabid porcupine, took place - after denials and denials from the Headquarters that it was ever going to happen. I can recall back in 1991 and 1992 reading magazines that were hinting towards big changes in the Church that the Church was constantly denying would ever happen - only to see it happen in four years with a "If you don't like it, go to Global" message from Tkach. I saw the deception first hand - that same deception that went on during times past. The deception through the 40s to the 70s to get as much money as possible, while proclaiming it was actually the mission of the members to give and back them up - without grumbling, or complaining, conditioned entirely and effectively to completely being finger-whipped into absolute obedience.

So the question remains. Did Herbert Armstrong really believe that he was who he said he was?

I believe he deluded himself, using rationalization, to believe that he was an apostle. I believe he deluded himself, by listening to the words of others, that he was the most important man in the world. After all, he was funding hundreds of people who were relying on his paycheck for their living. If Herbert fell, they all fell. Am I suggesting that the top ministers may have actually enabled and enhanced the delusion on Herbert for their own selfish benefit? You be the judge. No one was going to possibly let, in my opinion, Herbert believe for a second he wasn't what he thought he was - because then all the top evangelists and hundreds of the best paid ministers would be out of a job. Perhaps the key to their jobs was enhancing Herbert's delusion of himself so they all could be guaranteed a posh and luxury life - all at the expense of the little people.

Herbert Armstrong started a work based on personal ambition, success, importance, and prosperity. Once he got a team on board, and this work took off - no one was going to let it collapse. Regardless of the cost. You can easily see this spirit of competition and assurance to Herbert that he was who he says he was all through the 50s and 60s. He had a financial formula that worked. And everyone knew it. And everyone kept it going.

Even making the poor people believe they were about to go to Petra, or lose their salvation for letting up the income.

Yes, I do believe that Herbert Armstrong, later in life, really believed that he was who he said he was. But I believe this was a powerful delusion, only accepted after being convinced and enabled to believe such by selfish ministers who wanted their own stake of the fortune, who would reinforce the delusion to pad their own pockets in luxury as long as they could, until they could not anymore - when there was no way to carry the load of debt and burden.

And that's when we turn the corner to 1995, and begin to see all the roaches come out of the woodwork once the empire fell.