Setting Personal Boundaries With Your Minister

The Armstrong Church of God Ministers have consistently, in the name of what they call "God's Government", invaded the personal boundaries of their members in the enforcement of "the Law" within their congregations. Of course, members might think to themselves upon reading this: "What Boundaries?"

Throughout the decades, ministers have been trained, and thus feel compelled as principle, to ask and give counsel to the most private of questions, or the most trivial of questions. What would make most people gravely uncomfortable to discuss is commonly divulged by people within the Churches of God, believing the opinion of the minister is directly from Christ - because they've submitted themselves to "the Authority of the Government of God."

What is a personal boundary, anyway?

"Boundaries are guidelines, rules, or limits that a person creates to identify themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits."*

Regardless of what you have been told, or what you have believed - all people - including ministers - are subject to respect and to follow the personal boundaries that YOU have set up for yourself. It is within your basic rights as a human being, and within your own standards and expectations of privacy, to set up boundaries that all must respect. If you say no, NO means NO.

There are many personal boundaries that must be respected by your spiritual advisors. Most of all, what it is that you decide to share if you are asked to divulge personal information. The ministers of the Armstrong Churches of God have had a history of asking questions that they were not qualified, nor trained, to counsel on. Even Ron Dart, a senior minister in the old Worldwide Church of God, admitted exactly that.

The emotional result of inappropriate boundary invasion by a minister (or anyone, for that matter) can be like:

 "getting caught in the midst of a hurricane with no protection. You expose yourself to being greatly affected by others words, thoughts, and actions and end up feeling bruised, wounded and battered"*. 

Yet the fear that a minister can attempt to seduce you to believe through the power of blind deception can make you feel like it's not "that bad" what they are doing, after all, it is "God's Government". The reality is that they are being spiritual and emotional vampires, sucking out any dignity, self-worth, and privacy for their own interpretations and unqualified judgement, leading you down the road of guilt, condemnation, and lack of self-worth.

What then can you do, if you feel within your heart of hearts that a minister has crossed the line of effective spiritual counsel into disrespect of your basic rights and violating your personal boundaries?

1) Pray for God's assistance to help you stand up for righteousness.
2) Assert that such questions are inappropriate and are making you uncomfortable.
3) If the minister is persistent and presses the issue, or threatens retribution, WALK OUT. 

No person - not one - has the right to invade your personal boundaries once you request them to stop. There is no difference from a person refusing to honor the word "NO", whether it is a sexual request or an emotional request or inappropriate question where you have told them to stop. (This goes with physical boundary intrusions too, like when they used to go through your medicine cabinets decades ago!)  If they persist, or threaten retribution, it is a violation. They have crossed the line. You no longer are subject to submit to their authority. (Secret: You never were subject to their "authority".)  They relinquish any such authority the minute they ignore the word, "NO".

Yes, you may be disfellowshipped. You may be marked. And that is okay. You stood up for what is right, and for yourself, and have asserted the respect you deserve as a person.

 The question is, will you allow yourself to remain in an abusive relationship of disrespect and violation of your personal space and rights - or will you assert your personal basic rights, and be free from the abusers who disrespect your personal space and privacy.

The era of inappropriate questioning and counsel in the Armstrong Churches of God by unqualified and untrained ministers must end. It must start with you. 



*Quotes adapted from the Violence Intervention and Prevention Center from PositivelyPositive.com, outofthefog.net, Where You End and I Begin by Anne Katherine

Herbert Armstrong: A Classic Case of Narcisistic Personality Disorder

Herbert W. Armstrong was a Narcissist.

This has been discussed on many COG-related blogs and websites over the past twenty years. This site shall be no exception.

The Churches of God have enabled and fueled Narcissists for the entirety of their70+ years of existence, claiming and deceiving the grandiose delusions that they and they alone were the only ones God was calling and working with out of the billions of people on the Earth today. Not many were as thoroughly narcissistic, though, as the businessman, Herbert Armstrong - who displayed, without any doubt and with thorough verification and confirmation - every aspect of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

From Wikipedia: 

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder with a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.^[2][3] Those affected often spend a lot of time thinking about achieving power or success, or on their appearance.^[3] They often take advantage of the people around them.^[3] The behavior typically begins by early adulthood, and occurs across a variety of social situations.^[3]

The DSM-5 indicates that persons with NPD usually display some or all of the following symptoms, typically without the commensurate qualities or accomplishments:^[6][9]

HWA Walking Through A Massive Parade Front and Center

 

1. Grandiosity with expectations of superior treatment from other people
2. Fixated on fantasies of power, success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc.
3. Self-perception of being unique, superior, and associated with high-status people and institutions
4. Needing continual admiration from others
5. Sense of entitlement to special treatment and to obedience from others

There were constant Pastor General Report mailings to ministers absolutely filled with ministers heaping on the praises and lavish endorsements of HWA, each fueling and enabling the narcissistic behavior of HWA on every level, causing him to believe his grandiose fantasies as reality. HWA had the self-perception of being not only unique, but the only "apostle" on the face of the Earth at that period of time. He considered himself fully superior to all other ministers and members of the Church, and to all humanity who was not being "called by God" at the time. And, Herbert constantly, from age 16 onward, enjoyed and was motivated to spend time and be like high-status "important" people as well as institutions. His expectations of superior treatment ranged from constant complaining about the size of his office to the "quality" he constantly expected and demanded from others and for himself. He also felt needy for special treatment - and he absolutely and unquestionably demanded obedience from all people under his "authority" as Pastor General of the Worldwide Church of God. 

Another proof of NPD was exploitation.

1. Exploitative of others to achieve personal gain
2. Unwilling to empathize with the feelings, wishes, and needs of other people.

 

  Exploit means to derive full use and benefit from a source. 

An example of Herbert's exploitation of his members of his church was to drain out and squeeze every ounce of income he could from them - without care or without concern about their personal struggles, instead shifting the responsibility to God to take care of them because they were obedient to HWA - or as he called it "The Government of God".

He would demand First Tithe, Second Tithe, Third Tithe, Regular Holy Day offerings, Building Fund Offerings, Local Church Activity Fundraisers, Additional Contributions and Donations as required from the members - and plead, beg, threaten and gravel for increased Co-Worker contributions pleading every possible crisis and emergency that could possibly exist to increase his funds large enough to complete his Master Plan. This fulfilled the very definition of exploitation.

• Intensely envious of others, and the belief that others are equally envious of them

Herbert would continually watched other evangelists/"competition" and compared himself to them (Oral Roberts, Billy Graham), often criticizing their methodologies of their crusades and large-scale evangelistic events. He fit both categories of the above statement perfectly - envious of them, and believing they were envious of his accomplishments. His boasting over ratings - beating Oral Roberts - was extreme, as can be noted in sermons he would give in the 1950s. 

• Pompous and arrogant demeanor

Herbert often referred to himself as The Apostle, The Head under Jesus Christ, and many other titles and descriptions.He would also refer to himself in the third person - or sign his name to third person attributions written by others.

People with NPD tend to exaggerate their skills, accomplishments, and their level of intimacy with people they consider high-status.

From the very early years, he would often brag of his associations with the famous and the fortunate - such as Hubbard, oil executives - using his job in the Trade Journal meeting with Chief Executive Officers to boost and boast his accomplishments with millionaires and successful people - taking notes of how they did what they did as he went on.

When their own ego is wounded by a real or perceived criticism, their anger can be disproportionate to the situation.

To the extent that people are pathologically narcissistic, they can be controlling, blaming, self-absorbed, intolerant of others' views, unaware of others' needs and the effects of their behavior on others, and insist that others see them as they wish to be seen.

Since the fragile ego of individuals with NPD is hypersensitive to perceived criticism or defeat, they are prone to feelings of shame, humiliation, and worthlessness over minor or even imagined incidents.

They usually mask these feelings from others with feigned humility or by isolating themselves socially, or they may react with outbursts of rage, defiance, or by seeking revenge.

According to Leonard Groopman and Arnold Cooper, the following have been identified by various researchers as possible factors that promote the development of NPD:^[20]

• An oversensitive temperament (personality traits) at birth.

• Excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback.

• Excessive praise for good behaviors or excessive criticism for bad behaviors in childhood.

• Overindulgence and overvaluation by parents, other family members, or peers.

• Being praised for perceived exceptional looks or abilities by adults.

• Severe emotional abuse in childhood.

• Unpredictable or unreliable caregiving from parents.

• Learning manipulative behaviors from parents or peers.

• Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self-esteem.

Herbert Armstrong fits the category of what has been defined as an "Unprincipled Narcissist."

Unprincipled narcissist Including antisocial features.

Deficient conscience; unscrupulous, amoral, disloyal, fraudulent, deceptive, arrogant, exploitive; a con artist and charlatan; dominating, contemptuous, vindictive.

It is my critical, unofficial, unscientific, and wholly unprofessional statement and belief, based on many years of personal experience within Armstrongism, observation, analysis, co-worker letters, articles in all sorts of Media, including Pastor General Reports, The Plain Truth, The Good News, Videos, Attributions, reports from those who knew him, the Autobiographies, that Herbert Armstrong was in all ways a Pathological Unprincipled Narcissist, suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, to the harm and detriment, financial, spiritual, emotional, and mental, of his victims both in his Worldwide Church of God and around the world via media, including radio and television. 
It is also my opinion that many of those who have developed their own organizational splinters using Armstrong's methodologies also display narcissistic tendencies, exacerbated by Armstrong's narcissistic personality disorder, business, and dogma.    Finally, it is my opinion that those who are a part of the organizations of Armstrongism are prone to develop Narcissistic Personality Disorder, based on the teachings and doctrines of the groups that promote the agendas of Armstrongism.     





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 Photos from Behind The Work Videos, AC Press
Some text above is from Wikipedia. This text has been altered to include observations by the author of this post. Refer to the Wikipedia Post for all Wikipedia exact references. 

 

The Cult View of Church

Church.

For most people, the imagery is fantastic and fascinating. Stately stone buildings with beautiful shades of colored glass. A tapering steeple extends to the heavens – containing the bell that called believers from around the city to come and worship. A cross – the symbol of the Ressurrection – topped the steeple, indicating this church believed in Jesus Christ – that he died on the cross for our sins – the only one worthy to do so because He was God – and lived a sinless life for us. 

We didn't look at the cross in that manner. We, in our church, a church steeped in Armstrongism, looked at the cross with disdain, and with disgust. We believed that the cross was not what Jesus died on. We interpreted it as a stake – a tree – anything but a cross – because a cross, in our belief, was pagan and was rooted in pagan origins. We believed that church bells were not devices that called people to worship – no, we believed that it stemmed from antiquity and actually represented, of all things, testicles. The steeple, we did not see as a tower that displayed the Cross as a symbol of recognition of the Christian faith. No, we interpreted that as phallic. And the hymns that blared in beautiful harmonies from the tower of the bells, declaring hymns of ages past declaring the wonders of the Christ? We interpreted them as nothing but lies – untruths steeped in the rituals of Babylon, the coldness of the great false church that had a stranglehold over Christianity – who taught and preached a great false gospel to the whole world for just about 1900 years. 

People in our programmed way of thinking saw this image as pagan.

We saw the normal church – whether Baptist, Catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, Mormon, Pentecostal, you name the denomination – as a church caught in the midst of mass chaos and utter confusion – and we saw them as ruled in deception and cloaked in a shroud of evil. We viewed those that went to these churches as workers of evil, deceived and not knowing what they do. We looked at them as rebellious sinners, unknowingly worshipping the god of this world – people who did not understand nor could accept what we called and believed was “the Truth”. We would not enter them, nor would we pray over them. For we believed that if God wanted them to come to what we believed was “his true church” - that is, the “One True Church” that my family was called by God, so we believed, to attend, God would draw them to himself. Until then, we saw them as a bad influence, distant, cold, and inferior to us – the ones, we believed, were the few called and chosen to be set apart from the world in God's one and only true church.

As we passed each business, car, person, and home on our way to the facility we would meet in privately, you couldn't help but think about how special you were. God had, after all, given you the greatest blessing you could ever conceive or think of. You were special. You were somebody. You had knowledge of a Gospel that everyone else in the world seemed to be blind to. You understood the purpose of life. You understood the plan of God. You knew your destiny – that someday, you would be God as God is God. You were, after all, in just a few years – maybe three, maybe four, maybe even ten – going to be changed, in a twinkling of an eye, to spirit – and were going to be one of the few of this world with the other church members to usher in the Wonderful World Tomorrow. This was your destiny, this was your calling – and if you did well, and if you did right – you might just be able to attain it and you might just make it and be worthy of your calling – maybe. 

Our version of "Church" in a building like this.

 

The Unwritten Tenets of Armstrongism

Tithing, Hubris, Inward Behavior, Expression of Appearance, Loyalty.


These are what I believe are the Five Unwritten Tenets of Armstrongism that define it's movement more than anything else. Let's break them down one by one.

1. Tithing.

No doctrine was more tightly monitored and enforced than the three tiered tithing system.

Where else does 10% of your income go directly to one place - national headquarters. Where else does the other 10% have to be saved so you could attend their annual convention. And where else on the third year of your baptism does the additional 10% supposedly go to a benevolence fund?  And on top of that, your offerings, your building fund offerings, local church activity funds, money for district meets and other activities - after government taxes and religious taxes (your tithes), you were lucky to have half your income met. That is, if you followed the letter of the Armstrongism law. Many were rebels. But if you had half a mind of wanting any type of ordination, your paycheck lived for the Church, and only the Church. They were first, and you trusted God for the rest.

Headquarters constantly checked up on members who did not tithe with their state of the art computer systems. This, in combination with the lies and destructive tactics that extorted money for their building programs, was what led to the Ambassador Auditorium and the sprawling campus properties and real estate developments of the Church - and the "highest paid ministers in the world", according to Armstrong. 

2. Hubris.

Pride.

Pride of being specially called people. Ministerial pride of prestige. Pride in the belief of kingly inheritance. Pride of being spiritual "Israel". Pride of having the most beautiful college campus in the world. Pride of having the magnificent gold and mammon Auditorium. Pride of hosting the most worldly celebrities and meeting the most worldly heads of state (Armstrong, that is). Pride of being the only ones in the whole world who were properly keeping the Law (don't get me started on that one.) Pride of biblical knowledge (without spiritual application and context). Pride of attending the largest worldwide convention on the face of the Earth. Pride of being the "One True Church". Pride of being God's elect. Pride of being "protected". Pride of "becoming God as God is God". Pride, pride, pride. Of course, if you didn't tithe, then your pride's busted, because you were a slacker headed for the Lake of Fire, so said Armstrong. 

3. Inward Behavior. 

Set Apart and called out from the World God was never trying to save. Friends that were only in the Church, ignorant of the evil of friendships and relationships, family or otherwise, outside of the church. Where anything resembling ancient paganism was the manifestation of evil (except for the things that headquarters deemed OK.) Where birthdays were equated with evil and satanism. Where members hid in the bathroom with their lights off on Halloween instead of letting their lights shine. Where congregations met secretly and silently in bingo halls and gymnasiums. Where the public knowing of their church was shunned for many years. Where The Church was just an "extension program" of Ambassador College. Inward behavior, a defining measurement of nearly all cults, was predominant of Armstrongism and still is. Inward behavior is a major unwritten tenet of Armstrongism. 

4. Expression of Appearance.

Appearance was, and is, paramount within Armstrongism. How you dressed, how you behaved, how you represented Herbert Armstrong was paramount. How clean your house was for ministers when they visited. How manicured and perfect the grounds of the Headquarters were. How cultured you were, how masculine of how feminine you were. This all played into the culture as one of the five unwritten tenets of armstrongism. 

5. Loyalty

Last, but certainly not least, Loyalty. How loyal were you to the Church? How loyal were you as a minister to Headquarters? How loyal were you to Herbert Armstrong's teachings? Were you loyal even if things seemed to appear wrong? Or were not working out as to how you thought? Or to how they thought? Would you remain loyal regardless of how things appear - and have the faith to remain, and be loyal, even if things seemed wrong - believing they would work out in the end? Because in the Church, if you weren't loyal, you would end up in the Lake of Fire. Loyalty to the Church was a chain of bondage that would not let you out and gripped tighter if you tried to escape.

The only way out of the bondage of the Tenets of Armstrongism was for Someone else to turn the key and release you. Yes, Bondage to T.H.I.E.L - Tithing, Hubris, Inward Behavior, Expression of Appearance, and Loyalty - the five Unwritten Tenets of Armstrongism - can only be released by the freedom available in Christ.

And what is the opposite of T.H.I.E.L?

J.O.Y. 

Jesus First, Others Second, Yourself Last. For J.O.Y. is diametrically opposite to T.H.I.E.L.

Something to always remember. 

Pulling Back the Curtain on Herbert Armstrong

For the longest time - it was very difficult me, for any length of time, to listen to the voice of Herbert Armstrong.

Every time that I would attempt to hear his voice, it was an immediate flash back to the days of my youth. Hearing him speak, in a loud baritone yell, sitting on the cold grey floor or chair of the metal Tabernacle building at one of the church-owned Festival sites. Never knowing what he was saying at first - but knowing it was important. And serious.

So important was Herbert Armstrong in my childhood - because of the fact that he was very nearly deified in our family. We didn't quite get there - but if you have ever looked at the adulation and idolatry of the PCG group of Herbert Armstrong - you can get an idea. His importance and influence in my family was first and high, second to God. The ministers were his representative.We were slaves to the madness.

After many years of de-programming by experts, including an individual that had life experience in a similiar situation, I can now look at and hear the man in the third person - not as the young person in awe of the white-haired man with the powerful Wizard of Oz voice. The spell is broken. The chains have been cut. The shackles have fallen. And Jesus is the one who made it possible.

Before, when I would hear him for the short bursts that I could handle, I would have immediate dreams or flashbacks of those experiences. I would literally be able to smell, and taste, and feel the environment. Whether I saw him on the big screen of a transmission at the Feast - or saw him live - it was the same vividness and the same reactions in my head, engraved and etched with a soldering iron tipped with an iron blade, searing in deep precision.

I am taking on the task of hearing and transcripting sermons from the 50s and the 60s, and adding my own commentary (see the link upper right). I was able to get through the whole thing - and did not have to shut it off to de-process and de-brief more than twice. And here's what I have learned.

Looking past the lens of former idolatry and near-worship of my past, he was a short-memoried, not-the-best speaker of a man who actually, beyond expert speaking skills, was not that special. He knew what to say and made sense in some areas behind the pulpit - but turned around and did the exact opposite in real life. In other areas, he was absolutely wrong and speaking from his own mind. His business knowledge was very good - but that's what it was. Business skill. He was as worldly-minded as you could get. I can honestly say that I was absolutely not impressed. The fog of the brainwashing has lifted. I could see the man without the cloud of idolatry and deception.

I could do this only through prayer and through de-programming. I can feel comfortable now hearing him, not as some superbeing in a human suit - but knowing what the truth is. That he was a master at business with plenty of knowledge on how to manipulate and condition the mind due to his advertising training.

I wish to say to anyone who is in recovery from the effects of Armstrongism the following advice. And I mean this from the very depth of my experience.

Do not try to go this alone. It takes time and effort, and much prayer, to detoxify yourself from the horrid influences of cult mentality. The effects of the brainwashing that you must be reliant on others for your salvation takes time, and patience. You must reprogram your wiring. It is probably far, far deeper than you could ever imagine it was. I was surprised at first with how intense and how deep - and how much of my life that was impacted in nearly every way - from who I am, to my personality, to every part of me that needed to be reworked and corrected. I am by no means done with this - I've still got a tremendous ways to go, and I admit it fully. But I cannot do it alone. And anyone who thinks they can do it alone is underestimating the power of the spell cast by the deception of Herbert Armstrong.

And being able to actually listen to Herbert Armstrong without the conditioning of cult mentality is a huge breakthrough. I know he was just a man. A little man - with a huge pocketbook and seemingly endless greed as a chicago real estate businessman who found a product, and sold it without concern or regard to what happens to those who buy it - and to those who did buy it - you were Herbert's financial slave for life. And he had all the treasures you'd ever need to see to prove it.

Yes, it's true - The truth shall set you free.

The Alternative Thinking of the Children of the Cults

The effects of alternative thinking on the lives of young people has been one of the most extensive influences on my life as part of an end-time doomsday cult. One instance that came to mind this morning finally linked to the intensive research into my past to figure out exactly where I came from, fully what I was a part of, as steps of healing in my ongoing journey of de-programming and cult recovery.

There was a season in my young life as a second and third grader that, for whatever reason, I had to convince my classmates that I had supernatural abilities that I did not have. For many of the classmates, it simply did not work. But for one, it did work. It validated my "powers" and my "abilities".

One might consider this perfectly normal for the imagination of a small child in his first years of primary school. Imagine the kid pretending to be Superman, jumping off a small rock and "flying" all the way across the back yard. Or the small child on his tricycle, imagining he's zooming in and out of asteroids on a "star trek" through the neighborhood's church parking lot. Those are the imaginations at work - healthy and part of a brain's natural development.

In my environment, I was taught "not" to engage in "pretend" - or unrealistic imaginations on paper, like coloring the sky purple or the grass red. "pretending" was wrong - as wrong as reading fiction, or listening to different varieties of music. Adherance to realism was paramount. Pretending was to engage in a lie. And lying, after all, was a sin. My family took Armstrongism literally, and seriously.

Enter in the belief system that I had as a child, directly from all of my information sources. I was told I was in training to be God. I was told I would get my own planet. I was told this would happen in just a few years (I didn't quite grasp the fact that my parents were the ones to be converted into a spirtual superpower, and I had to remain on Earth because I was not baptized - this happened a little bit later.) Of course, I was also fully indoctrinated with the whole mother-load of Armstrongism dogma, including the Bible Story imagery from Basil Wolverton. Those who were a part of the cult, or take the time to study into it, can get a good grasp of what that contained.

The difference between the young child pretending on the street - and what my episode in elementary school was - is a matter of belief.

The young child playing superman understood the difference between "pretending" to be Superman, and the thought of actually becoming Superman. It was play, and pretend-time. Once the young child was done "pretending", the mind switched to the next event - peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a glass of milk before running out the door for a full afternoon of more playtime (in the summertime, of course).

The young me believed what he was told. He was going to be God. He was going to have powers and his own planet. He was excited that in a few years, he was going to be one of the pioneers of the Wonderful World Tomorrow. And in the next year or two, our going home from the Feast would be the last physical Feast we would ever experience. For me, this was not pretend. This was real life. It was going to happen. Herbert W. Armstrong said so. And what he said was reality.

I thought of myself as superior to the other children - a higher standard. I thought of myself as different and set apart. I had to set the example. I had to be as perfect as I could possibly be, because I did not want to make my parents, or God, mad at me.

I had spent decades wondering exactly why I acted in the way I did back in the second and the third grade. I attributed everything to an overactive imagination - a normal part of growing up. However, when you have an intentionally stifled imagination and a grounding from pretending - and then actual imagination turned into an alternative "reality" - then you've got a very messed up and abnormal psyche and way of developing as a child. Add on to that weekly meetings of fiction turned into an alternative reality - and again - you're just feeding the brain delusions.

This is one reason how the Church is responsible for the psychological harm and abuse of the children of the Church - from Herbert Armstrong to the ministry to the regular people to their children - weaving a wave of deception from the top down with pure goals of self-centered greed. The methods that Armstrongism used to infiltrate it's members with alternative facts - blatant misuse of mind conditioning and cult psychology to achieve an agenda - were criminal.

I know that those in Armstrongism will turn right around and say that that's what "the World" always does, with teaching about Santa and the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy. These things that we were taught were not fairy tale stories that you grew out of. These thngs that we were taught were not metaphors such as puppets and Sesame Street that teach a lesson and are understood as people grew older and could understand the concepts as an adult. These were beliefs that stuck with you and were reinforced week after week, and year after year. No child grows up to believe Santa is real, or that the Easter Bunny will hop around when you are 30. Those in Armstrongism built a whole religion on one man's fairy tale of becoming Gods and rulers in a universal real estate development program and ruling the whole agri-centric world based on a wholly racist and wholly physical interpretation of the plan of God - where people to this day still believe it, and mess up their children's lives to this day in the process.

Not only do I talk about this for my personal healing - but to show others how whacked and how deep of a con-job the whole mess was, and what it did to the psyche, the imagination, the centers of logic and reasoning, and the faith and belief of God himself. It is incumbent on those who were and have been a part of the entire scam to realize the depth of the deepness of the cancer of Armstrongism, that metastasized itself to delusional psychosis in the worldviews of so many.

How Religion Became a Business

There really is not anything that infuriates me more than when I turn on the television and I see a televangelist using every sales tactic in the world to convince his followers that God's Blessings are in direct proportion to the amount of money that you give to their church.

There are many fancy names they have for this practice. "Sowing seeds", that's a big one. "Seeds for Harvest" - I've heard that a time or two. Often times, they insert a highly snactimonious prayer - saying IF you sow this seed, God will bless you back five-fold, ten-fold, hundred-fold - or even thousand-fold. Then, they will tell the accounts of everyone who has been blessed back. Of course, there's a disclaimer - there is no promise that this is what will happen to you. Because, of course, it depends on your faith.

Many have bought into this - and have been burnt big time. Others have bought into it and may have seemed to have seen a return (confirmation bias). But the truth is, the Jesus of the scriptures never preached a prosperity message that linked his blessings to money - where you are essentially buying God's protection and buying God's favor. God's blessing is a free gift, without merit, and fully through the gift of God's Spirit through faith in Jesus Christ. You cannot purchase your way to riches, just like you cannot purchase salvation. What God has always looked at is your heart - and how the fruits of the Spirit positively impact the lives of others in and around you, to the glory of God. That is, Christ in You - the hope of Glory.

So where DID this practice originate?

Sadly, one of the pioneer televangelists to conceive and successfully use this practice was the man that founded the cult that I was born and raised in - Herbert Armstrong, and his Worldwide Church of God.

Herbert Armstrong was one of the first to utilize mass media to reach massive amounts of people to send income to a centralized source. Before Herbert actually did so, however, he studied intensively, through books, papers - and personally hanging out with rich and affluent people  the "secrets" and the skills of money. He took fervent note of every action he needed to do to become successful in the world. He listened to advice that he later would say he carried with him for his whole life. In conjunction with this, he learned how to sell through advertising. He learned every technique, every tool, every trick of the trade to get people to buy his products. He attended advertising merchant meetings - and became extremely good at his trade. That is, until the depression - when there was no product to sell.

Until he found a product to sell.

Challenged by his wife, Loma, to prove her wrong about a controversial belief of Christianity, the day of Worship (Loma became a Sabbatarian), Herbert began to embark on a six-month study to "prove her wrong". But here is where I need to stop and explain something to place this into proper context.

Herbert would claim various times that people would meet him years later and say he didn't act like a pastor. He acted like a businessman - a Chicago Businessman. He echoed this later as well, that he always approached his ministry in the ways of business. This is the key, I believe to seeing his approach to everything that he did. He viewed himself as a businessman throughout. Therefore, it stands to reason that his six-month study of all things "Christianity" was viewed with the filter and the vision, not of Christianity, but of business.  He himself admitted he "threw everything out" that he ever learned about Christianity, and, with a totally clean slate - a different perspective - read scripture. And what a trove he found - if he looks at it all with the eyes of a businessman.

Tithing. There we go - God said it - that can be proved. There's an income source. Oh wait! There's a second tithe for what? Festivals? And offerings! They can give income at the Festival - as offerings! Oh, look - a THIRD Tithe to support widows and orphans too! Well, there's the income!

Oh yes, all business has to be totally unique. Hey, look - the Saturday Sabbath! No one else does that! That would certainly be unique! We've got to differentiate! Wait - look at that command - no graven images. All these other churches have graven images - they've got to be wrong! This will do it! Look at what they are doing - Christmas, Easter - see where I'm going with this?

When you look at the Bible out of context. When you look at the scriptures like a book, read front to back, as a legal code or business structure - an organizational manual - you can certainly see how one who is intent on finding a product to sell could certainly find a treasure trove there. And this is what Herbert did.

And the conditions were absolutely perfect for his success. The world was fearful. It had come out of one war and was entering another one. Weapons had become large, and fearsome. Worldwide annihilation was now possible. For the first time, man was looking at his own mortality. It appeared that one could now literally look down the barrel of time and assume that the "end of the ages" was now looming on the horizon. Technology was mushrooming in ways that never happened before. All the materials were there. And the materials that would have squelched his efforts were NOT there - i.e., information, fact-checking, the internet, resources, and historical documentation. He had the perfect scenario for explosive growth - if he played his cards right.

And played his cards right he did. He was able to utilize the techniques of many other organizations - the Seventh Day Adventists, the Jehovah's Witnesses, even the Mormons, into his business. He morphed in a theory of British Israelism to appeal to his target audience - America and Britain - for high morale and superiority. He recruited people who were masters at persuasion - people like Herman "The Brain" Hoeh, who could turn any text into support for his doctrinal positions. People like Rod Meredith - a master orator. People like Raymond McNair - smooth talkers like Gerald Waterhouse. Even his own brother - a four-part harmony piano player.

And then, there was radio. Now, he had clients. An audience. Turns out, he had everything going for him there, too. He had a deep, resonant, preacher's voice that he learned how to use in sales effectively. And he had a product. That product was a twist on the Gospel - a message that he alone had given directly to him. A message that he, under God and Christ, would - with all those who bought into his doctrine - would literally rule and reign with Christ as kings - transforming this Earth into a Utopia - the true Government of God - ruling with a rod of iron, swiftly and severely punishing anyone who dared to be different - literally "forcing" their subjects into happiness.

This appealed to people.

To "prove" he was right, he used a carrot and stick approach. In three to five years, you'll see it all come to fruition. Problem is, it never did. So people kept giving, waiting, giving, waiting, giving, waiting. The church would grow larger, and greater. More radio stations. Then TV. More people. And larger, and greater.

Herbert would keep the income flowing by his sales skills. More crisis! Emergency! Give! Don't Slack! Crisis! Over, and over, and over again, letter after letter - it's happening now. Look! It's happening! It really is! Right now! See? Just wait. Oh wait. It's not happening. You're not trying enough! Give more! Have more faith! If it's not happening, you're the only one to blame!.....

And all the while that Herbert was blasting out how horrible the finances were - those at the top were doing mighty well. Top executives were driving Jaguars. Wearing expensive coats. Shopping at expensive places. And most of all - expanding their empire with a massive building project that would be completed in 1972 - through a weave of lies and campaigns of fear designed specifically to push enough money through to finance the grand idol of the scheme - the Ambassador Auditorium - composed of the most costly gems and products of the world, to schmooze the richest and most powerful of Hollywood cementing Herbert Armstrong as a status symbol of importance and success.

I know this is true, for one thing, because of the pages of history. They speak for themselves. Failed prophecy, greed, vanity, ego, the accounts of those who suffered, the fruits of the organization, and where it is (or actually, isn't) right now, to name a few. 

And others caught on to the formula - with a more "mainstream" approach. And so, you see the televangelists of today using, in one form or another, generally the same principles that Herbert helped to pave the way for them to use.

The intention of Christianity was never to become a business. The intention of Christianity is service and love - servant leadership, and servant lifestyle. It's a way of life not of covetousness, or materialism, or gold, and silver. It's a way of life that shows Christ in you through His Spirit - the fruits of which are love, and joy, and long-suffering, and patience, and kindness, and mercy, and self-control - leading others to see a life worth living not in materialism, where rot and decay will always fail, but in virtue - treasures stored in heaven.

I won't watch those televangelists anymore. I've rejected the concepts of Armstrong. I'm learning the methods to de-program myself from his influence. And it's helpful to know the truth of the matter - of when religion became a business. Because, when I see the business of televangelist religion's tall, massive skyscrapers looming ahead on the horizon, filled with the expensive suits and the smooth tongues - and all the guilt and mammon you can handle -  I can guarantee you there's corruption and worldliness to it's core. I'd rather turn right on the little dirt road, find the small house and the shack, and meet the ones who are genuine, and real.

Only there can you hear the wind, the birds, the breeze - and it's quiet enough to hear the small and gentle whisper of the Spirit of God.

Selected Photos from "The Envoy" - Ambassador College

Emotional Mind, Logical Mind - and Armstrongism's Impact

One of the tools that has been very helpful to me with the detoxification and deprogramming of Armstrongism's influence in my life has been the discovery of the spectrum of thought that people have between the two extremes of mindfulness - the Emotional Mind, which is FAR on the left, and the Logical Mind, which is FAR on the right. And no, I am not speaking politically here.

The Emotional mind, as I have learned, is a mind whose decisions and whose actions are influenced by emotion. To the degree of which depends on where you fit on the scale.

The Logical mind is a mind whose decisions and actions are influenced by how the mind determines the logic or rationality of the situation. Also, to the degree if which depends on where you fit on that scale.

People fall all over on this spectrum - depending on their circumstances. Some have a full-left emotional mind, which causes them to behave based solely on emotion. This can be very detrimental to sound reasoning, tantrums, and a huge variety of different emotional characteristics. Some have a full-right logical mind, which causes them to tune out any form of emotion, and make decisions based solely on how logical or reasonable, or rational a solution may be, without consideration of the emotional part, which seems rather useless and "illogical" to them. The "ideal" between the two to reach some degree of balance is, of course, a balanced position in the middle - where emotion and logic intertwine and create a healthy way of thinking - in a perfect world, anyway.

And now, we enter in Armstrongism.

The entire premise of Armstrongism was rooted in emotion. This may seem contradictory at first glance. After all, Armstrongism seemed to denounce and squash any kind of emotion with the intensity of a steel crusher in many cases - such as, when you feel inspiring music, squelch it - hold the inappropriate applause. Yet the emotion that they used to bring in the converts to their way of thinking was a very profound emotion - fear. This swung people, and quickly, to the emotional mindset (even the logical minded people.)

The decisions made then, when entering, and in armstrongism had the element of emotionalism involved - even when it did not seem like it was emotionalism. There was always thoughts like:

• Am I going to qualify? (Fear you will not, and end up destroyed.)
• Am I trying hard enough? (Fear you are not, end up a slacker, and end up destroyed.)
• Should I do what I'm told, even though I don't think it's right? (For fear of disobedience, and end up put out of the church and destroyed.)
• Did I just break a commandment? (For fear you've angered God, and end up destroyed.)
• Am I really trying hard enough for grace to cover me for my law breaking? (same story.)

The emotion that tipped the scale of most people from the logical to the emotional side was the emotion of fear. This is what made the doctrines of Herbert Armstrong thrive. And when you are tipped on the scale from the logical side to the emotional side - then you begin to succomb to the demands of the one who is instilling the fear in you.

Fear is not always logical. Fear is enhanced by believing the person or the thing making you fearful. For instance, look at the claims that Herbert Armstrong always made.

• I speak for Christ. I am an Apostle. I have divine authority. What I say goes. 
• I have the power to loose and to bind. My power is from God. 
• I have the only true gospel that has ever been preached in 1900 years. I am God's chosen vessel.
• Disobeying me and the ministers is the same as disobeying Christ. 
• If you aren't obeying the Government of God (me), you aren't really in the Church.

 These of course, are just a few points that were designed to program you to believe in the claims of his interpretations of his doctrines. But that was just the start. Now let's look at what he would call those who did not measure up to him (once the fear element was believed.)

• Slacker, coward, lukewarm, unconverted, slothful, rebellious, lazy, selfish, deceived, covetous, idolatrous (and many, many more.)

All of this played to the emotional side (even for the logically minded people). Once you were trapped in the fear - and then believed the negative statements for not doing as much as you should be doing (whether spiritually, financially, or physically), then you have tripped completely to the emotion-based mind, and are trapped in the "spell" of Armstrongism - tithe, pray, and obey - for fear you will anger the minister, or that you will anger God - to the detriment of the well being of you, your family, your friends, and everyone else you have known.

One might think they're being logical because of Herbert's "evidence". But when looking at Herbert's way of reasoning in his booklets, papers, and writings - it is riddled FULL of emotionalism throughout. He had catchphrases that he always used with his logic to demean, and beat down, and insult the intelligence and logical reasoning of those who would read his material. It doesn't take but a few paragraphs into his writings to read them, and see how often he talked down to his readers.

• "You may be surprised to know".
• "Do you?"
• "Now listen to GOD'S teaching."
• "This is what you should have done."
•  "LISTEN! Understand this."
• "Read it ALL"
• "NOTICE it!"

These subtle wordings dispelled your logical mind to give more measure to your emotional mind. Call it "trickery" if you want to - but it causes you to place weight emotionally without truly considering it logically. It's also a technique used by salespeople to create emotion to make you buy a product. Who, by the way, also use fear to enhance urgency. "You've got to buy this today, we might not have any left, and then you're completely out of luck. We won't have another sale like this. Don't miss out, because there's none less after this!" - well, that is, until tomorrow. "Oh, we got an unexpected shipment. But THIS is truly the last time! Act TODAY!"

So when it comes to the emotional mind vs. the logical mind in Armstrongism - how do we possibly begin to reason in balance? If the goal truly is balance.

What I've done, and what works for me, is to:

• Breathe, relax, and break down what's being said - factually. 
• Rule out the "what if's". "What if's" rarely become the real story. 
• Find out what the real truth of the matter is - not what you have been told it is, or think it is. 

In the case of armstrongism, there are logical explanations to their claims that have to be looked at, if we are to think logically.

• Factually - there has not been one prophecy they have uttered that has come true. 
• Factually - their claims of the World Tomorrow have not happened. 
• Factually - there are many ministers who have been verified as having unchristian fruits.

It would be a good idea to make a list of the facts that you have experienced - without the emotion, without the "hype", without anything but the honest truth of what you are experiencing. Then, to write down the FACTS of what impacts that your experiences have caused or done. This is logic-minded - without the fear or the emotional baggage that has been cast onto you through the emotional mind.

This is what has worked for me. It may not work for you exactly, and nothing I say should be construed as advice you should necessarily do - I'm not a professional, and anything I recommend is only what I have done, and has helped me - and you do at your own risk (I'm saying, this may not do a darn thing for you.)

Learning the logical mind, the emotional mind, and ridding yourself of the influence of FEAR is, without any doubt, one of the most important things that I have learned since undergoing de-programming from the toxic cultish influences of Armstrongism in my life.

May God grant you the healing and the ability to grow onward in blessing in your life.

Cult Recovery Lesson: I Have the Right to Make Mistakes and Not Have to Be Perfect

This is the third installment of a series on "Basic Rights" by the Blog Owner. 


Overcome! Don't Slack! Or It's the Lake of Fire for YOU!

From the time I was a toddler, just able to hear - these are the words I heard (perhaps, without understanding - but heard, nonetheless). When I was old enough to understand by hearing and by reading - the expectations, subconscious or blatant - were clear. The life I was to lead was very special, as a child of my parents called out of the world. A life of continual overcoming.








I am not saying it's wrong to overcome. "Overcoming" means to clear hurdles and change from ways that are bad for you - like addictions, trauma, depression, pride and greed, for example. It's what you do when you realize you are in a pattern, for whatever reason, that is causing you, or somebody else, negative impacts - that may be in your relationship as a husband or a wife, as a son or daughter, or a father or a mother. Overcoming can be a good thing in these examples.

Overcoming can also be a truly bad thing - if it's abused.

When you are forced to change your individuality - and told to overcome the basic person of who you are - then it's not overcoming. It's control. When you are forced to conform to a mold that is not who you are - then that's not overcoming. It's dictatorial command. When you are told to overcome every aspect of your life that has no relevance to anything spiritual or harmful - than that's not overcoming. That's unauthorized power. And all of it's a form of abuse.

Our expectations in the cult (in my experience - each person has a different story) were to overcome everything that made us individual and unique. Our hairstyles, dress, mannerisms, speech, and what we ate were strictly regulated - things we had to overcome. We had to overcome "worldly" friendships, the fear of tithing over a quarter of our income, and our basic common sense when a ministerial order simply was the stupidest thing you ever heard in your life - but because "it came from a minister of God", obedience was mandatory, and God would "take care of it" in His own time.

Our idea of overcoming was becoming perfect as God is perfect by being as close to as perfect as possible in obedience to the Law, which we interpreted as the expression of holy love - Law keeping. Therefore, when we fell short on our expectations, we fell short on our overcoming - and we risked "not qualifying", or "not making it". We had to expend tremendous energies to simply try our best, not slack, to try to become "good enough" to hopefully qualify to "make it", and somehow have worked hard enough that God would see our efforts and His grace would then grade on the curve and we'd be accepted in His sight.

This caused - for me at least - an intense fear of extreme failure, and a perfectionist nature that made me have an extreme phobia of wrong-doing, of any sort, no matter how minor or trivial. You may see this as extreme. And it is. That does not change it's reality. It is only through years of de-programming and understanding reality that I am beginning to realize, slowly, a realization that is like a ray of light. I'm not there yet in grasping this. But it's this realization that:

I Have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect. 

I do not have to accept condemnation on my shortcomings and my downfalls, or take them internally as I have on a lifelong basis. I do not have to accept the harsh criticisms of those who pridefully and arrogantly assert themselves as unqualified experts. More than this - I have had to learn, and am learning, that making mistakes is a part of life, and it is not going to disqualify me from any future reward - so long as I don't engage in harmful activities that go against the golden rule - "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."

When you grow up in an environment where you believe that you will be cut off from God for accidentally doing something illegal on the Sabbath one minute before sunset, or forgetting your offering on a Holy Day, or accidentally having a sip of water on the Day of Atonement - or leaving a crumb of bread in the sofa during the Days of Unleavened Bread. When you grow up being judged on your appearance, on your clothes - or you are condemned because you slipped and said "Darn" or "Fart" instead of stinker - (yes, I know - but it's what it was) - and your expectations were to be nothing short of the best role model of the Kingdom that you can be in life and in the Church - you don't believe you have the "right" to make mistakes or the "right" to not be perfect.

And a person never discovers the reality of who they are, individually, or who they can become or what their talents or abilities really are. They simply become a drone in a sea of drones, acting and behaving and seeing and hearing only in ways that make them a conformer, not an individual. It is better to be and live who you are in truth and reality then pretend you're someone you are not in a lie.

Yes, Jesus told us to overcome. But that did not counteract the right we have to learn, to grow, to make mistakes, and to accept our imperfections. The environment of the cult that I grew up in did not believe that. And the harm it is causing people stifled under their oppressive regimes cannot be underestimated.

Learning who I am as a person takes time and patience. I'm not there. But discovering my individuality and freeing myself from the mind control of the Cult Drones - that's freeing. It's one of the lessons I'm trying to grasp in my ongoing journey of recovery.


Basic rights adapted from The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Eugene Bourne (Oakland, CA, New Barbringer Publications, 1995)