The Legacy of Church of God "Ministers" and Deception.

Power.

It's quite the word in the Churches of God, because those in charge have had a lot of it.

Add money in, and you've got a narcisist's dream job.

Then add supposed divine authority - and you are a god.

That's the long and short of the story of the ministers in the Churches of God, who for over 70 years have convinced good-hearted and well meaning people that they are the inheritors of supreme authority on the basis of a supposition of the inheritance of diving power through top-down ordination. And when people buy into that belief, there's little - if anything - that you can say, or do, that they won't believe is right.

That has been the story in the Churches of God ever since Herbert Armstrong began his vain, narcissistic scheme of self-interpretation of religion for the furtherance of his financial empire and worldly success. It has been a story that Herbert's hirelings have written over and over again - with tragic mental and physical results.

Not every one of these people - named "Ministers" of varying rank and title - have taken advantage of members in various ways as many have. But those that have taken advantage of members for their own benefit, either personally or corporately - have done so vigorously, unashamedly, and forcefully, as they personally have benefited from their perceived deceptive power plays. From the beginning, it has been the minister who has been served by those they have been entrusted to serve. It has been a culture of privilege, superiority, arrogance, pomposity, and hubris that had encompassed their entire lives - all enabled and created by the headquarters corporate who developed a system that rewarded them for their heavy-handedness towards those who they were entrusted to spiritually develop.

From the beginning, the "ministers" who were ordained into full-time ministry into the Church were given "the Good Life". At the peak of their financial prosperity, due to conning the members to believe they were required to give 30 percent or more of their income to the Church, they were given handsome salaries, expense accounts, for a time utility expense, parsonage credit, a fleet car - and that's just financially. They also - well, many of them - used the members of the Church as personal slaves - car washers, lawn mowers, movers, or anything else that the members were willing to do. And their "work"? Many of them in some areas really did not have much to "do" during the week! Prospective member visits were low, visitations were not always required, the occasional wedding and/or funeral, and a whole week to write a sermon or sermonette. Those who did have large congregations and were constantly busy had high expectations - and were sometimes the most brutal with their unrealistic and supposed authority that they pounded home was, according to them, from God.

They also had the full backing of their boss, Herbert Armstrong, when it came to disputes or claims of malpractice. Herbert Armstrong had a policy of always believing the minister's word over the members' claim - and let that be known specifically - if there was no specific evidence against the minister. The weight of that kind of backing was something the ministers knew and wielded well, in many cases.

And then there was the belief of absolute divine authority, which many ministers claimed they inherited via ordination - and the belief that their every decision was through the guiding ministry of a higher portion of the Spirit of God within them. From the very smallest to the very largest decisions, such a mindset and belief caused a co-dependency from member to minister that was just as powerful as the dependency from a son or daughter to a parent. The difference between this child to parent relationship and a member to minister relationship? The parent-child relationship was temporary until adulthood. The member-minister relationship was eternal. In short, the members were never permitted to grow up.

The ministerial dominance of supposed authority extended well into the realms of discipline, as any rebellion, slacking, without full support, or disobedience in any way shape or form could result in not only extreme physical consequences (losing friends, even family, isolation and rejection, as well as separation from Church, either temporarily or permanently) but also spiritual consequences (loss of salvation, condemnation, rejection from the Kingdom, and being thrown into eternal cessation via being burned in the Lake of Fire). Some of these "ministers" fully abused such a belief that they had such supernatural, God-ordained powers to the order of complete oppression of their members, and fully hijacking every decision that members ever made in their lives in many cases. This was not the case with all of them, or all of the members. But it did happen. And it did happen often.

All of this of course created an atmosphere of excessive pride and arrogance within the ministry that they created their own super-culture that was far and above beyond the normal clique. It was a culture that created special seating, and roped-off areas. It was a culture of higher living that in many cases the regular member was not invited to nor ever could know. It was a culture of "We are better than you,and you well better know it." It was a culture of posh, arrogant hubris and superiority. It was a culture of superiority based on rank and position and power. They were them, you were you, and you better follow the rules, or you, who were next to nothing, will be nothing. This was the message sent and widely received by many.

Your expectations, spiritually and physically, within the dominant sphere of the minister's supposed authority, were both excessive and exhaustive. Submission to not only the rules and regulations required by the doctrines and dogmas of the Church's spiritual interpretations, and the rules and regulations of the local Church as interpreted and enforced by the pastor, dominated every aspect of the life of the member, the member's family, and all areas within. Personal decisions were expected to be ran by the pastor in cases of job, marriage, dating, finance, personal issues, sex, school, friendships, Church attendance, Church social lives, and all issues related to "the world" as to what was proper and what was not, including birthdays, holidays, events, gatherings, sports, and overall life, including what to wear, music, child-rearing, child discipline, and a host of other subjects that you were not "smart enough" to know on your own what was or what was not appropriate or expected of you. Your adherence to expectations was constantly analyzed, judged, disciplined, and reported to superiors on a constant basis. You were judged on your masculinity, your femininity, your handshake, your hair length, your dress, your suit, your communicative style, your personality, your macho or manliness, or your ability as a homemaker or wife. The minister's power within the marriage was nearly absolute when it came to marriage counsel - and for some decades, broke up or dissolved marriages based on their own interpretive judgements of what defined adultery. Make no mistake - lives were under, in many cases, the complete dominance and power and authority of the Minister, the one whom was Greatly to Be Feared.

This was the power they had - the power of deception. This deception was enabled by fear, first and foremost. Fear of God's Punishing Power. Fear of the Minister. Fear of the Church. Fear of Disobeying, and lastly but certainly not least - the Fear of Discipline up to and including dis-fellowshipment.

Once you had invested your whole life into the controlling powers of the system - who controlled your life in every way - who could ruin your entire life in one letter of disfellowshipment - or one order to quit your job - or one order to leave your spouse - or to reject a family member in some recent cases - you resigned yourself to their will. You resigned yourself to just obey them, because the consequences would be rougher than if you lose your entire social system. That power over the social system that the Church wielded was, and is, the biggest shackle and chains that grab onto and hold a member under their thumbs. The minister sits on them with that power with the full weight of a 400-lb tablet of stone. If they leave, they lose. If they leave, they fear. They believe it's the end.

Tragically, because of that belief, many have simply given up, fallen into depression, anxiety, hopelessness, and some have committed suicide according to many reports. This is the tragic results of drunk on power charlatans who have abused members emotionally and spiritually for far, far too long.

Those who have been abused sometimes do not think it's really that bad because they're used to it. They believe what's out there is far worse than what's "in there". They believe that what they have experienced for decades, is normal. They believe this because that's what they've been told to believe. They have been lied to, deceived, and had have their minds stolen, and many have lost the capacity to live on their own or even make the most basic decisions without help. All the while, their pastor and corporate church rake in their income, their assets, their estates, and their lives because of the love of sordid gain and the lust of mammon and riches. Their cold, calloused assault on the well being of their members is excused and rationalized away with the belief and statements that "Their donations and acceptance of the doctrines is voluntary" and no one is forced to do anything.

Of course, that's a lie.

When you threaten their eternal salvation because they aren't doing what you tell them to do. When you threaten their eternal salvation because they don't submit to your authority or every order. When you threaten their eternal salvation because they are not giving you the required donation. When you threaten their eternal salvation because they have failed in every expectation handed down from on high. And not just their eternal salvation, but their family's well being? Their jobs? Their social lives? Their marriage? Their everything? And you make the dastardly excuse that it's "voluntary"? There's nothing voluntary about it. You've deceived yourself into thinking you are doing nothing wrong.

And the well-intended, good hearted members who simply just want to do what they believe God has said for them to do end up in  system of bondage and chains - thinking in full belief right is wrong, and wrong is right. The results are tragic.

The entire concept of ministry is to serve. The entire concept of ministry is to help those who are Christ's as a supporter, an encourager, a defender, and a protector - not an abuser, a parent, a fraudster, a charlatan, a scammer, a conner, or a robber. The entire concept of ministry is humility, not pride. The entire concept of ministry is not based on money or assets or estate, but on the spiritual health and well-being of the member. The entire concept of ministry is growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ - not the wallet, not mammon, not money, not corporate. The entire concept of ministry is not rooted in wickedness, or pride - and most of all, the entire concept of ministry is not rooted in abuse of a member. Whether that abuse is emotional, mental, physical, or developmental - abuse is abuse. And the truth is, the COG's have miserably failed as a whole in not only failing to stop abuse within the churches - but enable it, in the name of greed and presumptuous gain.

Those ministers who truly are ministering are out there - the few, and the faithful. The other ministers? The so-called ministers who have trashed everything Jesus Christ stands for - who puke and vomit on God's Word? The ones who got rich by making the poor poorer? The ones who idiotically stand in their pulpits enthralled in the stink and filth of their vomit-stained words, nauseating those who are shackled with their putrid arrogance? They aren't ministers.

They're a disgrace.

The members who are in bondage can regain control. They can regain their lives. They can be set free. They can live again. They can recover. But they can only do it through and by the power of the Living Jesus Christ. It is my prayer that through prayer, they can live again, and be set free.

Disaster in California: This is Not the time to Judge. This is the Time to Help.

In Southern California, especially in Butte County, as well as in the suburban areas of Los Angeles, a storm of hellish proportions is engulfing properties and threatening lives clear down to Malibu. Many celebrities - such as Alyssa Milano, Caitlyn Jenner, and Kim Kardashian have been effected.

I can just see the scowl on the faces of fundamentalist Church of God members to the news. I can just read their thoughts. I can almost predict the posts that are due to come out, if they have not come out already. The hatred, the judgements, the "warnings" - they come out like roaring lions every time a disaster hits. They always roar out with snarls and hisses about what they believe the reason for the fire really was, and what they believe caused it. They do not hesitate to call it a judgement of God against those who blaspheme against His ways and His will. They show no empathy, no care, no concern, no heart, and most of all, no love toward anybody who thinks or acts differently than they do. To them, they've brought it all on themselves because of their rebellion and obstinate behavior towards God's Law. "Burn, Burn, you haters of God and his ways", they'll say, nearly drooling over the prospect of the wicked being subject to punishment - wishing for fire and brimstone, like with Sodom and Gomorrah. You can almost hear them say "Get 'em" to the fire. "That'll teach 'em", you can nearly see them say as they hunch forward in glee, as in watching their favorite runner with the football heading towards the End Zone. (Well, most of them. We know one who doesn't meet that comparison!)

What is wrong with this picture?

Everything is wrong with this picture.

First of all, and importantly - EVERYONE - you, me, your neighbor, your son, your daughter, your parents - have issues. EVERYONE deals with their own personal situations. EVERYONE goes through their own struggles and their own pain. It is not our place to judge someone else's pain and suffering when we all have our own issues to deal with. Speck vs. Beam!!

Church of God Members are vicious and quick to cast judgement on what they see as immorality and perversion among "the world" and are quick to condemn and cast judgement, using events as wildfires, tornadoes, hurricanes, and other natural events as proof of the judgement of God. Yet they refuse to see the blatant idolatry, the immorality within their own ranks, the hypocrisy, the abuse, the oppression, the extortion, and the financial theft happening within their own ranks. Who are them to cast judgement when they don't look in the mirror? The hypocrisy is beyond wretched and reason.

Who are they to sit there and cast judgement on those who are not meeting their standards when they are blind to their own nest of sin and evil - as they define it? Who made them holier than thou? Who gave them the gift of spiritual discernment when their own nest has been scorched by the fires of wickedness? Who are they to laugh and scorn at the loss and pain of others, when they oppress the poor, abuse the weak, and take gain for themselves for their own comfort and security? What gave them the right to be such arrogant and hurtful pricks? They cast judgement in the name of God while their own hair burns and they don't even know it.

Just as bad, they feel they don't have to do a thing to help them, or to "show them Jesus", to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

Which COG Leader do you know of who will drop everything to go to California to help them? Anyone?

Which COG Leader will invite Caitlyn Jenner into their home? Which COG Leader will invite Allysa Milano into their home - or ANY person of different opinion into their property? Anyone? Hello!

Will a COG Leader open his property to the victims of the wildfires? Will he allow them to sleep on his rug in his palace? Will he allow them to worship God with un-laced shoes? Or non-white shirts? Will he bring in the unwashed into his closed gates? Will he permit the smell of scorched and burned clothes into his palaces? Will he comfort the hurting? Would he? Could he?

Will a COG Leader open up his headquarters to the wounded? Or would he make the excuse it's too far? Would he pay airfare for the displaced in California who lost everything, who aren't financially fortunate? Or would he only care about his own members - who were somehow supernaturally protected - or give those who were hurt "thoughts and prayers"?

Will local ministers in California do anything?

Will our self-appointed non-ordained minister open up his house or his vitamin house for any of the wounded or displaced? Will he use any of his money or proceeds to feed the firefighters of the police who are working day and night to protect and to serve? Will our crooked bookcase man give a sermon of hope and peace in Jesus to the victims - or will he do another horrible message on 50 topics while ignoring the state burning all around him? Or will he do a web post on how everything happening is God's punishment on a world that won't keep the Sabbath at Bob's butt-numbing church services - or go to his Feast of Tabernacles?

What COG minister will be moved to be there in this disaster? Anyone? What COG minister will tell people to keep their hands off of this tragedy because you can't interfere with God's judgement? Shall we name names?

What if we reversed the thinking?

What if this wasn't a judgement on the world - but a test of action of faith to people who profess Jesus?

What if these things were a test of love? Of how much those who profess Jesus would take action? Would help and serve? Who take in and show the love of God to those who think differently? Who act differently? Did not Jesus say to feed the sick? Or the homeless? Or the jailed? Or the widowed? Did he not say to do these things? Of course, the COG will just say "Well, that didn't mean THEM. He was talking about the Church."

God have mercy on those who spew such bull and vomit on the grace of Jesus Christ. God have mercy on them. Because these are the ones that Jesus would have ran to to help and to serve. Because God's love and God's grace and mercy know no boundaries. God's sacrifice knows no bounds. God is a God who is looking for those who give of themselves for the sake of others - ALL others - regardless of race, religion, disability, or mindset. God is a God of love. And his expectation is that his people put their faith into action, show Jesus, and love others. ALL others. Without prejudice, and with great compassion and healing hands.

California is burning tonight. But so are the hearts and compassionate care of hundreds of thousands who do not cast self-righteous judgement and Pharisaical condemnation against those who are not as righteous as their holier than thou saintly vessels of perfection and righteousness - whitewashed with soap and gleaming with sparkles in their oh, so magnificent splendor - are. There are thousands who are going without sleep, without eating, driving thousands of miles, taking care of displaced people, pets, horses, who have lost everything - to do the work of the Lord Jesus to all peoples - regardless of what they believe or who they are. These are the people who are showing the love of God. These are the angels showing mercy and love and compassion.

As far as the COG leaders - whoever may do what I'm describing here - you know,  the ones who sit on their asses in their white shirts and pressed pants mocking those who have lost everything? Who sit there in self-righteous sneers as to how great they are and how wicked the world is? Who relish at the thought of the embers of fire and whipping destruction against those who despise and mock God's Law with drooling fervor, wishing the fire on - or worse, turning a blind eye?

Don't look at the specks in their eyes when a beam shoots out of yours. You make a mockery of Jesus, and spit, stomp, and reduce to ashes the word of God and the ministry of Jesus Christ. May God have as much mercy on YOU, as he shows on the world through the sacrifice and love of His Son and our Savior, Jesus Christ - so that you, too, may see how great and how deep and how wide is the love of God, who so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son for everyone. And once you open your eyes to THAT. May God's spirit convict you and WAKE YOU UP to the pathetic attitudes that have come from the false Gospel you've embraced through the false apostle Herbert Armstrong.

But God is not going to force you to change your stubborn and hard headed minds. That's going to be up to you.

Setting Personal Boundaries With Your Minister

The Armstrong Church of God Ministers have consistently, in the name of what they call "God's Government", invaded the personal boundaries of their members in the enforcement of "the Law" within their congregations. Of course, members might think to themselves upon reading this: "What Boundaries?"

Throughout the decades, ministers have been trained, and thus feel compelled as principle, to ask and give counsel to the most private of questions, or the most trivial of questions. What would make most people gravely uncomfortable to discuss is commonly divulged by people within the Churches of God, believing the opinion of the minister is directly from Christ - because they've submitted themselves to "the Authority of the Government of God."

What is a personal boundary, anyway?

"Boundaries are guidelines, rules, or limits that a person creates to identify themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits."*

Regardless of what you have been told, or what you have believed - all people - including ministers - are subject to respect and to follow the personal boundaries that YOU have set up for yourself. It is within your basic rights as a human being, and within your own standards and expectations of privacy, to set up boundaries that all must respect. If you say no, NO means NO.

There are many personal boundaries that must be respected by your spiritual advisors. Most of all, what it is that you decide to share if you are asked to divulge personal information. The ministers of the Armstrong Churches of God have had a history of asking questions that they were not qualified, nor trained, to counsel on. Even Ron Dart, a senior minister in the old Worldwide Church of God, admitted exactly that.

The emotional result of inappropriate boundary invasion by a minister (or anyone, for that matter) can be like:

 "getting caught in the midst of a hurricane with no protection. You expose yourself to being greatly affected by others words, thoughts, and actions and end up feeling bruised, wounded and battered"*. 

Yet the fear that a minister can attempt to seduce you to believe through the power of blind deception can make you feel like it's not "that bad" what they are doing, after all, it is "God's Government". The reality is that they are being spiritual and emotional vampires, sucking out any dignity, self-worth, and privacy for their own interpretations and unqualified judgement, leading you down the road of guilt, condemnation, and lack of self-worth.

What then can you do, if you feel within your heart of hearts that a minister has crossed the line of effective spiritual counsel into disrespect of your basic rights and violating your personal boundaries?

1) Pray for God's assistance to help you stand up for righteousness.
2) Assert that such questions are inappropriate and are making you uncomfortable.
3) If the minister is persistent and presses the issue, or threatens retribution, WALK OUT. 

No person - not one - has the right to invade your personal boundaries once you request them to stop. There is no difference from a person refusing to honor the word "NO", whether it is a sexual request or an emotional request or inappropriate question where you have told them to stop. (This goes with physical boundary intrusions too, like when they used to go through your medicine cabinets decades ago!)  If they persist, or threaten retribution, it is a violation. They have crossed the line. You no longer are subject to submit to their authority. (Secret: You never were subject to their "authority".)  They relinquish any such authority the minute they ignore the word, "NO".

Yes, you may be disfellowshipped. You may be marked. And that is okay. You stood up for what is right, and for yourself, and have asserted the respect you deserve as a person.

 The question is, will you allow yourself to remain in an abusive relationship of disrespect and violation of your personal space and rights - or will you assert your personal basic rights, and be free from the abusers who disrespect your personal space and privacy.

The era of inappropriate questioning and counsel in the Armstrong Churches of God by unqualified and untrained ministers must end. It must start with you. 



*Quotes adapted from the Violence Intervention and Prevention Center from PositivelyPositive.com, outofthefog.net, Where You End and I Begin by Anne Katherine

You Cannot Force Someone To Be Happy.

Herbert Armstrong would always say that the role of the Overseer - the spirit being Worldwide Church of God God-Being in the Millennium - under Christ - would be to FORCE people, through the enforcement of Law under Jesus Christ - to be happy - by teaching them the ways of the Law and swift punishment for disobedience to that Law.

This reason was partially enforced by his literal interpretation of the scripture of Zechariah 14, which claimed that all the nations that do not go to Jerusalem for the Feast would receive no rain.

Of course, this was an allegorical parable to those who had not yet been revealed the spiritual mysteries of God which were made possible through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and the indwelling of the Spirit which reconciles us to the Father. No one in the Old Testament days of Zechariah could ever understand that this scripture - like all the scriptures in the Law and the Prophets - pointed directly to Jesus Christ. And neither could Herbert Armstrong.

There's one aspect, however, that even a literal interpretation - what Herbert Armstrong was best at - cannot nullify. And that aspect is the freedom of choice that humanity has been given. No, freedom of choice does not eliminate consequence. But you are always free to choose whether or not you will follow Christ, or if you will not. If you will receive rain from heaven, or if you will not - the blessings of living life abundantly in Jesus, or the consequences of "no rain".

The aspect of kingship that Herbert Armstrong drooled over was very apparent in what was approved for the musicals he allowed in the Young Ambassador Festival of Music. One musical that was allowed into the Festival Film was "The King and I". In this musical, you have a display of a very authoritative king who is used to yielding all power and control over his subjects, produced in 1956. Such a musical would certainly have appealed to Herbert's love of power and control - and especially ruling. This was, exactly, the kind of kingship that Herb and Hirelings, through psychological trickery and deception, chained their tithe slaves with day in and day out. But through all of this trickery and deceipt - one thing he never did was forced anyone to be happy.

Herbert never was able to take away the freedom of choice from the members of his cult. He may have been able to deceive people into thinking leaving his cult was the worst thing they could ever do. Why, they'd be reduced to working manual labor. They'd be possessed by blood-thirsty demons. They'd have no friends, no life - in this age, or in the age to come. Good for nothings. This power of deception, however, was overcome by many who did leave the cult, and through overcoming, began to see through the lies and trickery with a clear head and conscience. Herbert was never able to force anyone to be happy.

The truth is, you cannot force anyone - for any reason - to be happy. In fact, forcing people - the exact words that Herbert used - is, in every way, illegal in spiritual and human law.

Forcing someone to do anything is a violation of free will - the one thing that God has always put as a prime directive for everyone - physically and even spiritually. God did not force Satan to be happy and content. He did not force the demons to do His will. He did not stop them from rebelling. He never stopped them from interfering with humanity. He never stopped "the serpent" from offering "Eve" the "Apple". You will never find in scripture God forcing ANYONE to do anything they did not want to do. God did not even FORCE Jesus to sacrifice Himself, and to become sin for us. Jesus himself said if he wanted to, he could call upon thousands of angels to minister to him. Jesus CHOSE to do what He did for us. He CHOSE to lay down His life for us. And by choosing to do so, he became worthy of all honor and praise and kingship.

In reality, Herbert's love of "Force" should be scary to anyone who hears or looks into it. Herbert's ministry of force was evident in everything he did. From forcing members to become ordained (they didn't have a choice). From forcing ministers never to retire. (They didn't have a choice) To forcing members as to where to go for the Feast, to what Hotel - they didn't have a choice either. To forcing members as to how to dress, or what they can or can't do on a certain day. (They didn't have a choice). Everything in Herbert's mind was FORCE. A rod of iron. A fist and a sword.

Of course, he would say, "I'm not forcing anyone! You have choice! If you want to go, GO! We don't need you anyway!" In so many words. Yet, he was forcing his way. And he did this with and through fear of consequence if you did not obey. That you would be HAPPY under his control and his power. That you would be HAPPY as his tithe slave. That you would be HAPPY under the rule of his interpretation of all powerful Law. And that you would be DEAD - spiritually - if you dared rebel and go do your own thing - words he despised.

But none of this was true.



Jesus taught that in his Spirit, there is freedom, there is liberty, and there is peace. Jesus said that his yoke is easy, and his burden is light. The Apostles taught the power of living a life of love and service to your fellow man - to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus taught his disciples to CHOOSE life. To CHOOSE to do right. To CHOOSE to be a great example. To CHOOSE.

Even in the book of Matthew, in Chapter 25, Jesus spoke specifically of the freedom of choice. He said that there would be two groups of people. Those who chose to serve - to visit the sick, the jailed, the widows, the orphans - and those who did not. He never indicated once he would force them to do anything while living life on Earth. He never once said anything about commanding them to do this or that. He never took away their choice. There were simply those who chose to, and those who chose not to. He did not force them. He showed them a way, and set an example. The choice was always up to them.

Just as such, by the imposition of dictatorial force, you cannot command happiness. You cannot command rejoicing. You cannot tell someone they have to be happy at a certain time and a certain place. (Yes, they tried this too, at the Feast.) You cannot force unity. You cannot force positive emotion. The most you can do is create a fraud. Someone who appears happy, someone who appears joyful, someone who appears in line - but inside, could be depressed, angry, sad, frustrated, down, discouraged, and downtrodden. This is not "the Government of God". This is nothing but the worship of appearances and the culture of lies from the inward self out to all a person encounters. It's a culture of evil, lacking honesty and truth.

The idea of "forcing" people to be happy is contrary to every word and every verse in the word of God. God is a God that allows choice - and consequence to those choices. God is also a God who is very clear what Justice he serves on those who violate someone else's choice - that is, forces someone to go against their free moral will in life. This "Government of God" of Herbert Armstrong?

It was not the "Government of God" at all. It was the "Government of Dictatorial Force and Power" - the government of oppression. 

No. You can never force someone to be happy.

Happiness is only accomplished when your choices fulfill your destiny, and your purpose. 

Whatever that may be.

Respect. It Makes or Breaks... Well, Everything.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T. 





The words echo in my head from one of the great vocalists of our time, who recently passed into the Great Beyond, leaving a legacy of incredible melodies that will certainly live on for many generations to come. "Find out what it means to me", as the lyrics go.

A very valid question. What does respect mean to me? And to us?

When I was growing up, the notion that was impressed upon me was very simple: Respect was achieved, not by how one earned respect, but upon the position that the person was in. Respect, thus, was an entitlement granted upon one's rank or level in any given area - regardless of the person's abilities, accomplishments - or lack thereof.

Not that this isn't necessarily an inappropriate way of thinking in it's proper light. The military, law enforcement, medical professionals, fire safety, judicial members - they all deserve respect due to who they are and what they do. We know they have earned respect because it takes a certain amount of training, in every one of these professions, to do what they have to do to either save lives, or protect lives. When we arrive at the doctor's office, we give them our respect by our trust. When we are pulled over by a law enforcement officer for speeding, we give them our respect by our behavior. When something is found to be on fire, we give the firefighters our respect by clearing out, and letting them do their job. We know that they know what they are doing. That's entitled respect, based on what we know.

Then there's earned respect.

An employee brand new on the job has no entitlement of respect. It takes years to earn it - and five minutes to lose it. A new acquaintance does not gain the respect of their new individual right off the bat. That, too, takes years to build - and can take one wrong thing to end it. Your favorite food - you could love it for ten years. Then, buy one bad box, and never, ever buy it again.

It would seem that entitled respect is only broken by losing the ability to perform the task that granted the respect. It would also seem that earned respect is like a Jenga tower. It can be built high and strong, but one false move, and it can all fall like a ton of bricks. Or, if built poorly, can collapse before it ever really gets going at all.

It would seem to me, then, that there are two types of respect. There's professional respect, and then there's personal respect.

Yet, then, there is the public servant whose very profession demands personal respect, due to the intimate closeness that this individual has with those they claim to serve. This would include psychologists, ministers, clergy, social workers, and the like. One might think then, that that particular type of person would know that their professional respect is only based on how much personal respect they have built.

In the environment that I grew up in, the very reversed happened. I'm talking about the ministry of the Church that I grew up in. Those who had the profession of Minister - under the employment of an organization - who claimed the requirement of professional respect - but neglected the necessity of the requirement of personal respect that their very profession requires.

Their basis was simple: Their calling was God-Ordained, through the laying-on-of-hands of the one human being who was believed to be called by Jesus Christ himself, and only under the authority of Jesus Christ. Therefore, their personal respect never had the chance to be earned. It only had to be professionally obtained. Any "personal" respect was simply coerced, or forced, because it was not allowed the time or the ability to be genuine.

Often, within five years or so, this person would be shuffled off to another congregation to be replaced by another individual, who mandated the same professional respect. It seems that any attempt to build "personal" respect was deliberately and intentionally cut off by this system. "Familiarity breeds contempt", it was often said. Therefore, the only thing that we needed to know, as members who were "under" the authority by office of this individual, was that they spoke under the authority of God, and to respect "the office", and not necessarily the downfalls of "the person", because "God will take care of it, it is not the responsibility of the members to try to."

This professional, demanded respect - without the build-up of personal respect - required uncompromising obedience - as if we were in a military operation, not a church. It led us to become mindless drones - under the threat of professional expulsion from the church itself. It was not balanced, and it was not a normal relationship you would expect in a church, which by it's very nature requires an abundance of personal respect. The very structure of the church's government eliminated any build-up of personal respect. The minister's professional respect - and unrelenting accompanying business authority - would far overrule any personal respect built up anyway.

The emotional imbalance of this cannot be underestimated, when you take what is supposed to be a church comprised and built upon the standards of professional respect of knowledge and personal respect of person - and end up with something like I grew up in which had neither. The church I grew up in was a dysfunctional, chaotic, imbalanced den of debauchery with tyrants at the helm, demanding, but not earning, any form of respect - either professionally, or personally - due to the overbearing, dictatorial regime of taskmasters who were pursuing their own wicked agendas at the very top. I feel bad for the few who DID try to earn personal respect within the ranks, but were quickly squelched by those who took advantage of the "weakness" of the good to earn a higher place with the wicked. Where there's a den of sin, there's always those who try to push their selfish agendas to gain higher goals of selfishness.

Respect was never mutually shared, either. Respect is never a one-way, bottom up street, because of the necessity of personal respect given in those who hold professional respect. Those who hold professional respect always should be able to return personal respect to those they serve. In the environment I grew up in, it was purely a one-way street: My way, or the Highway. You obey, or you get out. Pay, pray, or hit the hay.

When those who have an office of professional respect fail to understand the requirement of giving personal respect to those they serve - whether it's a public servant or a family member - the result is always terrible. It's those who do not understand the two-way street of respect - both professionally, and personally - who end up the abusers, the dictators, the tyrants, the merciless.

Respect is either entitled by profession, or earned personally - but professional respect always gives personal respect to those they serve - no matter what the profession, or the task, profit, or non-profit. Any organization that does not understand this principle - especially churches and ministries - cannot be trusted in any way to be what they claim to be, or who they claim they are.