Friday, January 4, 2019

If You are Traumatized, You Can't Just Let it Go.

One of the admins over on Banned posted a post on the blog over there called "2019, rise above your darkness, let it go". Though the essential message was well-meaning, and some of the elements had good intentions, the three words that are the most ineffective and invalidating to a survivor of a traumatic experience, whether emotional or physical, are "Let It Go".

Even for Christians.

Perhaps many remember the namesake song from the movie "Frozen". It's a nice concept. It's a beautiful concept. It seems so easy, doesn't it? Now I'm not saying that Jesus doesn't have the power, or his followers don't have the faith for a supernatural miracle of deliverance from all of the effects of trauma, PTSD, anxiety, depression, negative thoughts, and all of the associated emotional damage which is associated with the deep indoctrinations and damage from a severe cult experience. Yet this path may in fact, be detrimental for those who could gain much needed life-skills, coping skills, thought-skills, and life management skills for those who have been victimized by the charlatans and greedy wolves who take advantage and emotionally molest those who put their trust within them. These skills are best obtained by doing the one thing that cults hate their victims to do: Seek the help of professional counselors and services.

The skills that I have learned through over four years of professional therapy have taught me things that I never, ever were taught or understood within the confined, walled-in kingdom of Herbert-Armstrong. I never understood how cults damage and rewire the brain the way they do. I never understood the massive effects that their brainwashing, indoctrination, propaganda, and negativity caused in upsetting the logic vs. emotional balance of the mind. I never learned the concept of mindfulness, or the meaningful brain-healing of meditation and loving-kindness. I consider the things I have learned, and have been taught as absolutely life-saving and priceless beyond words.I am learning the skills to handle major depression and severe anxiety. It is an ongoing, critical process - especially when balancing these issues with a severe heart condition (which, by the way, could have been managed much, much earlier had Herbert Armstrong not got his nose into other people's lives due to greed and the love of money and power). It is a process that would not have been possible had I not received professional help. The truth is, if I had not received professional help, I would not have known HOW to BEGIN the process of overcoming, and managing the effects of Armstrongism in my life. The truth is, at this time, I would have been dead.

It would be easy for Jesus to supernaturally wave his Hands and "Poof"! Everything's gone and healed and it's all okay now, and life goes on. It would be a miracle, absolutely! It would be spectacular! Until the person - who has not learned any new life skills - or gained new insights or knowledge - gets - through his or her own deficiencies - into situations - has a whole new set of problems and begs for healing again. And what has truly, in the long run, been accomplished? Jesus can do things miraculously. Yet often, he brings us to a path to take advantage of learning, of growing - to eliminate the root causes that cause the peripheral issues in the first place.

It reminds me of all of the Christians who seek a sign, or a miraculous intervention, or a powerful healing - and then don't receive it - and miss out on a God-ordained way that is better and wiser than some miraculous intervention. See, God COULD have abruptly healed me. He could have taken away my heart condition before it nearly led to my early death. He could have fixed my anxiety issues without any problem! Sure, He could have - in a second! Yet, if he did - I would not have learned. I would not have grown. I would not have built character, or learned skills never taught to most until they "have" to know them. I would never have been given the incredible network of heart doctors and cult-recovery professionals I have now.

Because of the path Jesus led me on beyond a supernatural manifestation of electrifying power from the Higher Dimensions, I am alive, and I am growing. Jesus' ways are higher in so many ways than ours. There are sometimes better ways, in the long run, then "Poof, You're healed". Many times, the higher way is in wisdom and in understanding and experience.

No, for many, you can't just "let it go". There is a class of people who think they've let it go - but have not dealt with the underlying issues that are the more serious problems from trauma and pain, and hurt. These people think they've let it go - but haven't. They've buried their pain deep within, unwilling to bring it out, to work it out, and to learn and to grow. They're hurting themselves by their lack of getting help.

For those who truly have "let it go", consider it a blessing, and perhaps a miracle, and be thankful you have the strength to do so. For those who think they have, but deep down know they haven't - or those who KNOW they haven't. Get help. It's okay to admit you need help, and to get help. You will learn invaluable things, you will grow - and maybe, just maybe - that could be God's will for your life.

So if you're a Christian, and these words have touched you somehow, may I make a recommendation?

Please pray about it. Seek the will of the Father. Ask Jesus to take control and if it is his will for you to go the path of seeking help - that He would guide and lead and take control and charge of your life. And trust Him. The path may be long, and the journey may he hard. But you will be forever grafeful for the lifelong benefits - and wisdom - you will have attained.

May your journey to recovery be full of grace and healing.


3 comments:

  1. It is difficult leaving it all behind. From having all the answers to having many questions and some doubts on whether you made the right choice.

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  2. Unfortunately many still in the COGs are with others still in the COGs and base their understanding of what happened in WCG on those that are still in the COGs. This is kinda a "self selection bias". Because the COGs are filled with people who weren't as easily hurt by WCG: Many are ministers or related to ministers. Many attended Ambassador College (which provides its own social network) -- UCG and COGWA are filled with Ambassador alumni. Many made that extra amount of money that allowed for tithes to not affect them too much.
    But many other families tithed to their hurt. They saw their parents (particularly father) treated as a lesser among a minister or church hierarchy or maybe even social hierarchy. Not good for a man or a father which affects the entire family.
    The current COG members, in organizations not as firmly based on fear, simply do not understand the different WCG experiences and generally ridicule these supposed experiences as fabricated or can kinda see it but do not understand the magnitude of the effect.
    So the COGs remain because the experience "worked for them" while 90% decided to remove themselves from their WCG experience (some perhaps attending only for a brief time and recognizing the faults in the organization).
    Very often these current COG members believe that because they followed the rules, they were blessed for it and thus they remain.
    Of course there are exceptions to everything stated above.

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  3. Survival of the fittest, you might say. I agree that they do not understand, and do not have comprehension of the experiences of the majority who were effected severely. In short, they're "disconnected" and "out of touch" with the majority.

    ReplyDelete

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