Short Story: The Prayer.

By Blog Owner. 

*****

It was a moment he had prepared his entire life for. A moment greater than High School Graduation. A moment greater than his first kiss. Yes, a moment even greater than his wedding day. A moment even greater than the consummation of his marriage that night. Yes, it was The Moment. The moment he had been waiting for his entire life. The moment.....

He got to stand for the first time Behind The Lectern.

He remembered when he was little how he was never allowed on the stage, nevertheless near that beautiful walnut-stained solid wood Lectern with the Adjustable Microphone and Most Holy Seal on the front displaying the ever-awesome Seal of the Church, signifying the God-Ordained Official role of the blessed or doubly blessed servant that was fortunate enough to stand behind the Edifice of the Local Congregation of the One and Only Truest Church. He remembered watching how people would walk up to the Edifice – how they bent their knees. How they turned and looked. How they placed their stacks of papers or their Bible. The way they placed one hand on one side, or their other hand on the other side. Or both hands on both sides, stretching his suit way out about to rip at the seams, it seemed. After all, it was an Ordained Position to Position yourself Properly at THE Ordained Position behind the Edifice.

Yes, he remembered every occasion, week after week. And now, for the first time, he was asked to stand behind this Lectern himself. To give the most humble of all tasks. The Opening Prayer.

What an honor. What a privilege this was. He'd heard the Opening Prayer a thousand times, if not tens of thousands of times, or so it seemed. He heard the good ones, and he cringed at the bad ones. He remembered solemnly the one-hit wonders, who would give a Sermonette instead of a Prayer, never to return behind the Edifice again. He remembered the passionate prayers, the boring prayers, the suck-up-to-the-Pastor Prayers, and the “Quick, I'm Hungry, Let's Eat” closing prayers. He just had to nail the Approved Style to get it right, so he could possibly do it again. Maybe, just maybe, if he did it right, he could get up there not just to pray, but to chicken flap his way through all the songs he knew since birth.

He though about how he'd do it. “Our Father..” No, too bland. “Eternal, Heavenly Father”... no, everyone does it that way. “Our Most Gracious, Eternal, Heavenly Father...” No, too much for the first one. “Father in Heaven”... yeah, that'll work. Not too little, not too much. “We just...” We just. No, too bland. “We come before you on this..” YES. Now we're getting what we need to do, he thought. “Beautiful Sabbath Day?” Wait, what if it's raining? It's not beautiful then! “Wonderful Sabbath Day...” That's better... but what if it wasn't wonderful. “We come before you on this Sabbath Day, we thank you..” He was getting the groove of what he had heard for years upon years.

“Let's See..” he thought... “Bless the pastor, inspire the speaker...that you would bless the words...inspire the thoughts....that many would have ears to hear...” Yes, he liked that. “Bless the entire service...and we ask this all in the name of Christ, Amen”... Yeah, something like that. Gulp. Now. Presentation, he thought.

He walked up to the mirror. Cleared his throat. And with as low of a voice as possible, he growled... “ETERNAL..” No, no, no, he thought. He tried a higher voice. “Eternal...” NO, that's too Kermit THEE Froggish. Just be natural, he thought. For the first time, he felt the sweat drip from his brow. SO much to this, he thought! “How should I stand? Oh, don't worry about it”, he thought, everyone will be

looking down, anyway. But what if they don't? What if they stare at me? What if they see how nervous I really am? What if I bomb? WHAT IF I TOTALLY SCREW THIS UP? WHAT IF I.... WHAT IF I..... WHAT IF I BONK MY NOSE ON THE MICROPHONE? OHH THE HUMANITY!!!”

He went to the fridge and pulled out the scotch and took a guzzle of it, and tried to relax. It'll be okay. After thirty seconds, it will be over. But will it meet the approval of The Minister – or will he be black-listed forever???

Finally, it was THE DAY. 

It was the longest drive. Every mile seemed like an eternity, driving down the highway, hearing the pavement thumping and the tires singing underneath the wheels of his station wagon. 

"You'll do fine, honey. Stop worrying about it!", his wife said, trying to encourage him. 

"Yeah, daddy, I can't wait to hear your voice through the loudspeakers!" One of his pre-school age children said. Of course, this did little to relieve the anxiety. He gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. 

Finally, he saw the outline of the old abandoned school where they met for services approaching. As he turned the corner, he could see two well-dressed men chit-chatting next to the doors that led to the ramshackled meeting hall in the gymnasium of that school. He slowly turned into a parking spot, and stopped the car. He glanced into the rearview mirror and with a dart of his eyes caught the assuring smile of his youngest child. His wife patted him on the thigh, saying "Go Do That Prayer." 

Slowly, he got out of the car, went to the trunk and grabbed his Bible and Notebook. He caught up to his wife and the two children were walking behind. He turned around and with anxiety said, "Now you two be on your BEST behavior today. This is an important day for Daddy." 

"We will!", they said, then ran into the hall nearly setting the balance off from one of the Greeters. 

"Good Morning!", one of the greeters said, extending a firm, masculine handshake. 

"Morning, beautiful weather", he nervously replied. He walked into the hall where another well-dressed man gave him a hymnal and a Bulletin - and an equally firm handshake. 

"Good Morning!", he to the Hymnal Guy. 

"Hey, Buddy, I heard today you're going to give the opening prayer. Don't worry about it, you'll do fine." 

Gulp. 

He could feel the sweat running down his brow onto his cheek. He nervously glanced around looking to see if the Song Leader had arrived. Maybe he isn't here, he thought. Maybe, just maybe there will be another song leader and another Prayer giver! Alas, however, he could see that the Song Leader was already talking with the Pianist about the hymns. He decided to sit down. Actually, he felt he needed to sit down. He chose an aisle seat close to the front of the hall, as was the tradition. 

The hall was filling up now, as the Murmor of  hundreds of voices was getting louder and louder. As he looked up, he could see the Song Leader check his watch and say a quick word to the Pianist. The Song Leader then ambled over to the Lectern, flipped a couple pages, and pulled out a small long card and placed it on the Lectern. He glanced up, smiled, and adjusted the Microphone perched on a boom stand in front of the Lectern. 

"May I Have your Attention, please. Will you all please begin finding your seats, services will begin in three minutes." And at once, the Pianist began plinking and planking away at a familiar tune "O Come and Let Us Worship Him." 

Everyone began finding their seats, adjusting baby stuff, setting down hymnals, or just sitting. Soon, every seat save a few were full. The Song Leader was chit chatting with the still-playing pianist, and the small handful of choir members assembled on stage. Finally, the Pianist stopped and looked at the Song Leader, perched with both hands on the lectern. 

"Well a Pleasant Sabbath Morning to all of You!" - he paused and slowly looked around the room. 

"Beautiful Weather we're having today, in fact, a glorious day to sing songs to God, so let's all RISE" - his hands palm up swooped in a rising gesture - "And turn in your hymnals to page 75. Holy Mighty Majesty. Page 75." 

The Introduction rang out and soon off and singing, but so did the rising anxiety increasing like a pressure cooker deep within. 

"Worship and exalt, The Eternal One, Holy Mighty Majesty!" - the last of the three verses ended. 

"Beautiful beginning! Now let's turn in our hymnals to..'

The voice faded out as he went on autopilot, turned to the song, and sang, mind racing. And then, the last song. Here's where he knew he had to begin his Walk of Fame. 

As the very third verse of the last song began, he slowly closed his hymnal, and his lead-weighted feet slowly moved out to the aisle. He glanced nervously to his wife. She nodded and smiled. He turned and walked up the steps, and, as so many did before him, paused right between the piano player and the song leader, furiously flapping his arms away with what seemed to be complete ease and grace. 

"So it is seemly so to do..." 

Almost time...

"And shall from age to Age enduuuure." 

Gulp. 

"Our opening prayer this morning will be given by a member here...."

The song leader stepped away from the lectern, three steps backward, and looked at him, and nodded. 

Dead silence in the room. A quick glance at the audience showed bowing heads - except a few staring right. at. him. every step toward the Lectern sounded like cannons going off. 

Clunk. Clank. Clunk. 

And there it was. The Lectern, in front of him, in all of its magnificence. Instinctively, he cleared his throat, but taken aback the microphone picked it up as it echoed throughout the entire hall.  He opened his mouth to talk, but nothing came out. He bowed lower, and almost ate the microphone. PANIC! 

Relax. Just pray. Do it right. You know the drill, he thought. 

"............."

"come on man, go...pray", he thought. 

"......................"

And finally, after hearing these prayers all of his life, he was able to recite the prayer word for word. 

"Eternal Heavenly....come before you...this Sabbath....grateful...we just pray.....bless the speaker....let us hear the words....we commit this service into your hands......Amen..."

He was so relieved after he said "Amen" that he didn't even think, he just blurted:

"I DID IT"!!!!!

Everyone laughed. Well, most everyone. A few higher profile individuals didn't find that so funny. A perfect prayer with a not so perfect ending. He did do it. He finally was able to give the Opening Prayer in a real, live, Church Service. And as he walked down the stairs, for the first time, he realized how soaked with sweat he was. 

He was SO thankful he had to wear his suit jacket. Though the rest of the service was unbearable. 

After all, Go Ye Deodorant into All The Church was a good motto to live by. 

***

*Fictional Story, by author.