Why I Don't Attend A Church. (I'm Bracing For The Judgers!)

I do not attend or am a member of an organized Christian Church.

But this does not mean that I am not a Christian.

I am fully aware that many organized Christians (Those that go to and are members of an established Church, Armstrongist, Protestant, or otherwise) would flatly disagree with me. There are many who still believe that Church attendance is mandatory for a Christian. They will quote scriptures (as one did to me recently) like "Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together". They will think or say that I have a spirit of rebellion or am not submissive. Well, they have the right to their opinion.

Everyone actually has the right to their opinion. It's part of what makes our society work the way it does. Thoughts matter. And it's something that I have learned to respect - the process of opinion, which is developed and bred because of the complexities of an individual's life experience. Opinion makes the world what it is, no matter what side of the fence you are on religiously, socially, politically, or otherwise. But.

Yes, there's a but. (There always seems to be, doesn't there?) When it comes to religion, things can quickly change. Especially in corporate religion. Because in corporate religion, your opinion suddenly is not just an opinion worthy of a form of respect. Your opinion is either black or white. Totally true, or totally false. Godly, or satanic. And that opinion is judged not on its merit or worthiness as a person - but how much in line it is with the pastor's interpretation of how in line that opinion is with God's word.

Notice how carefully I worded that. Because in organized Christianity - regardless of the type of organized Christianity it is - each church conforms to the personality of it's pastor - the chosen leader of the Church - and each church conforms to the doctrinal interpretation of the pastor - the chosen leader of the Church. Most church members are programmed (I used the "P' word) to accept - based on the pastor's educational background, preaching, and personal counseling - without reservation and wholly and undoubtedly the pastor's word as absolutely authoritative and binding as instruction from God.

I cannot do that.

And it is not because I am rebellious. It is not because I am obstinate. And it is not because I am unduly critical or have a "bad" spirit or what have you. It is because I have been burned and scarred by pastors and leaders - in both Armstrongism and in mainstream Christianity - who have spoken as if they had God's anointing, blessing, and favor - but have turned out to be charlatans, untruthful, prideful, self-absorbed, or worse. And this is not a biased opinion - it's what formed the opinion in the first place. In short - I cannot trust them.

Coming directly from a sordid history of the cult of Armstrongism, you learn something about religious corporations. First and foremost, what they are. They are a business - rooted and established in the business and corporate philosophies of the world, where the world dictates the church in many ways most don't even know about - especially in the realm of finance and business operations. In many cases, a church will want to judge biblically - but insurance reasons may mandate a non-biblical judgement. (This happened in a mainstream church a long time ago, where reimbursement of money won over a Christian decision in a legal case against a book keeper.) Money always wins in a business - religion or otherwise.

I also cannot stomach the absolute hypocrisy that infests mainstream churches - where appearance (like in Armstrongism) is paramount above all. It is truly sad to say - but you can never, ever judge a person's behavior for how they appear to be at Church. Many times, the minute they step out of that church and back into "the mission field" or "the real world", they can stop the facade and go back to being who they really are. No, this isn't everybody - there are genuine people - I acknowledge that. There were genuine people in Armstrongism. It's true, however, that whenever you get a good group of people together, you're going to get every personality type possible - including the frauds and the suckups, the hypocrites,  the cold, the loving, the merciful, the businessperson, the shy - but to figure out who's genuine or not? That's a whole new ballgame. And sadly - many times, they only go to church to "do their duty" as a Christian for 1 to 2 hours a week - if you're a mainstream religion or a part of a fringe cult.

But those are just the side reasons that come with the main reason I cannot attend church.

The main reason I cannot attend church - as was alluded to earlier - is because I do not trust those who assume the position of Pastor in a church. Yes, this is something that is a direct result of my personal experiences with pastors. It is a direct result of how I have come to view spiritual "authorities". And I would by lying if I admitted otherwise. No, I do not trust those who assume a pastoral position. I have witnessed too many of them obsessed with the love of mammon, the idolatry of material wealth, the lust and love of power and authority, and the provably false interpretation of the doctrine of tithing in the New Testament that most carry over from the Old to literally guilt (I've seen this over and over again) members or lie to members (using Old Covenant Scriptures) that they're cursed if they don't tithe to their church (an absolute contradiction of the words of Christ).

Those who read this might be quick to judge my words as haughty, arrogant, prideful, wrong, obstinate, or many other choice words. And that is exactly why I cannot go to a mainstream church.

Because if I walked in there, and tried to explain to someone exactly how I felt and the experiences that I went through to come to those conclusions - many would immediately come to exactly those conclusions. I would be branded unteachable - and maybe even a "danger" spiritually, to the flock - for stating to certain people what I feel. The pastor may see me as challenging his "authority" or trying to "harm" the flock spiritually, because I am not blending in with the sheep. Am I surmising? Yes. Is it possible that this is not the way it would be every time? Of course. Is it a risk I am willing to take? No.

But this does not mean that I am not a Christian. My relationship is between Jesus Christ, and myself. Jesus understands my unique situation as one who was raised in an abusive, manipulative, lying cult. Jesus sent His Holy Spirit - the counselor - for just such reasons. Because my trust - my hope, and my life - lies only in Jesus Christ, the Son of God - who knows me for me - and does not answer to a Church Board - but is One with the Father. Who deals with me personally, one on one - Brother to brother. Who gives me only what I can handle, day by day. My belief in Jesus Christ and all He accomplished on the Cross is secure. It's what makes me continue day to day, despite everything I have been through and go through in life. Because Jesus is the way, and the truth and the life.

Does this mean that this may not someday change? No, it doesn't. There may be a time that God may direct me someplace, sometime, and if He does, He will tell me, and I will know it, and I will answer and respond as He directs. As for now, though, that time has not come yet.

The time, right now, is recovery, from the abuse and the brainwashing that I went through in life and in the cult of Armstrongism - and this blog is the outlet on which I do just that (as well as any other jabberings or talk, no matter how ridiculous or crazy the babblings might be).

I don't claim, nor will I ever claim that these writings as "inspired", or "pastoral", or "authoritative",  or "total truth", or "My way is the right way", even when I give opinions on scriptures or the Bible or religion. In my view, Only Jesus is truth. The only claim I will have in my writings is this:

It will always be honest. No matter how "right" or "wrong" or "religious" it is - it'll be honest. And to be honest, that's all anyone can really expect from an author. Honesty. And sincerity.

And truthfully - that's really all you really could ever ask from anyone. Especially pastors, churches, Christians, and people going about their every day lives. And if I ever find a church like that - I'd probably go in there and at least give it a try.